Lockdown is bringing its own challenges, even more so because the premature UK easing of lock down, is reinforcing my realities around my cerebral palsy disability and the fact that just wouldn't be an option for me.
My 'big deal' disability
I know that with an already compromised immune system, even if it wasn't too early to ease lockdown, having to self-isolate is something I have no choice on, which means Covid-19 and my disability is a big deal, but I don’t want it to be.
When I look at my disability in the whole, around a compromised immune system that isn't always evident, there is very little for you to look at, but there is no getting away from how much more mentally and emotionally disabled I am. Through my words I make it look easy.
Acquiring the tools
Yes, for anyone having to self-isolate with their partner these are such difficult times, made even more difficult when you didn't know or acquire the tools to help you cope. It is also made worse, because I am vulnerable and high risk; my life is literally on hold for as long as it needs to be.
Autism
Emotionally with autism I don't feel equipped, autism always makes that process worse. I should be more equipped than I am, I should have been given the tools. I wasn't disabled enough not to understand what was going on. I understood everything.