Cerebral Palsy in the summer

I sometimes feel as though I am controlled by cerebral palsy. How I would choose to live my life isn’t how I get to live my life, particularly when it comes to cerebral palsy and the clothes I like to wear.

Dealing with my disability means I continually have to work around things like my wardrobe, which can make it difficult particularly in the summer months, as my condition has to come first.

As a child, I hated wearing skirts because of the lack of muscle mass on my leg, on my left side. I wanted to wear open-toe sandals, and flip-flops in the summer like my sisters, but without a problem. I wanted to wear three-quarter length jeans with pumps. Instead I wore clothes that covered me up. I hated that.

I was given flip-flops to wear because my sisters wore them, but it was obvious I couldn’t hold on to them. My parents either weren’t coming to terms with the fact that I had a disability, or they wanted me to be the same. I remember telling my mum that I couldn’t keep my flip-flops on and trying to hold on to a sandal was impossible.

My writing helps me to evaluate and bring an acceptance to a lot of my experiences, including my clothes. When I talk about the things I know I couldn’t change, writing about them makes me feel better.

I have learned to dismiss the guilt and accept that is how it was. I was never in a position to say how I wanted things to be.

27 Apr, 2011

4 thoughts on “Cerebral Palsy in the summer

  1. I cannot wear flip flops either as they will not stay on my feet.

    That is alright because my feeling about my feet are bad. I feel I have the ugliest feet on the planet.

    I tend as well to stay away from the beach as I am not a water person. Almost drowned three times in the past. Not going for number 4.

    1. Ditto on the flip flops. I can swim but choose not to because other people have a habit of staring at me, or they did!

      We’re also critical of our own bodies and how we see ourselves isn’t how others see us. Thanks for posting Randy.

  2. Your daughter is lucky that she can pick and choose what she wears. We’re not always able to do that.

    1. Yes of course, but for us it is what it is. We cannot turn back the clock on what happened on our birth dates.

      My feeling is that all we can do is accept it’s not going to be any different and be happy with that, as hard as it is.

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