I feel as though I am controlled by Cerebral Palsy. How I would choose to live my life, is not how I get to live my life, particularly around clothes I like to wear.
I have always struggled to find clothes that I like, to fit around my condition. I was never keen on skirts because of little to no muscle mass on my left side. I would have loved to have worn open-toe sandals, or flip flops in the summer months as a child. I would also love to wear three quarter length jeans with pumps, but instead I have to wear clothes that cover up and I hate that.
Although mum bought me flip-flops to wear because my sisters wore them, it was obvious I couldn’t. She either didn’t want to come to terms with the fact that I was different and had different needs, or she wanted me to be the same. I remember telling her that I couldn’t keep my flip-flops on, trying to hold on to the sandal was near to impossible.
My writing allows me to evaluate and bring acceptance on a lot of my experiences, including my clothes. When I talk about the things I couldn’t change, writing about them make me feel slightly better. I try to dismiss the guilt and accept that’s how it was.
I tend to have to work around my wardrobe in other ways but admit it can get difficult in the summer months.