I feel as though I am somewhat controlled by my Cerebral Palsy and how I would choose to live my life is not how I live my life, particularly when it comes to clothes.
I see my daughter grow up before me and look at how together she is on her decisions, particularly based around her hair and her clothes. I have always struggled to find clothes that fit around my Cerebral Palsy and the clothes I would choose to wear, I shy away from.
I would love to wear open-toe sandals or flip flops with some of my clothes in the summer months. I would also love to wear three quarter length jeans with pumps, but instead go for the shoes and clothes that fit around my disability.
I remember as a child my mother buying me flip-flops because my sisters wore them. She either didn’t want to come to terms with the fact that I was different and wanted to treat me the same, or she lived in ignorance on my problems. I remember telling her that my foot wasn’t like the other one. Walking with no backs on my shoes wasn’t an option, but it was made an option.
Bringing up my past, allows me to evaluate and bring acceptance on what’s been. When I talk about my past, I know I couldn’t have changed anything, so I dismiss the guilt and just accept that’s how it was. Again, I couldn’t have changed anything so to carry the guilt would only cause me more pain. What’s the point?
I’m pleased my children get to choose and don’t have my problems. I work around my wardrobe in other ways, but admit it gets difficult in the summer months.