Character traits

It is true to say that we all inherit character traits from our parents, from our environment and our peers, but what if the character traits we have are there because of a condition we deal with?

I was always considered to be lazy, at home and in school by my family. It didn’t matter what I did, or how hard I tried, I failed to make the grade. My parents never talked about my struggles, but assumed I would catch up. My twin through hard work and determination did much better in school.

It was always going to be inevitable that I would struggle emotionally, physically and academically because I have Cerebral Palsy, but until others understood the bigger picture of Cerebral Palsy and what I had to deal with, it certainly didn’t blend with people’s expectations of me.

Not everyone will be labelled, but it’s true there’s still an element of that in society today. If we’re slow or don’t do something the first time, it’s often put down to other things, rather than it’s because we have something that we deal with that is stopping us from doing what people expect.

For me this is the bigger picture of what I deal with. Inevitably, some of us will have traits that are annoying to others, but many of those traits will be because we have formed bad habits that we find hard to break. For those of us who deal with a disability, we will have certain character traits, because we don’t have the capabilities to behave in any other way.

There are many other conditions too, such as Bipolar, dealing with memory loss and Dyslexia. Any condition where the brain has been affected in some way. It’s very easy to fail to understand why people behave in the way they do, but I believe we genuinely need to stand back and be more accepting of people and why they have their character traits.

If it’s not just down to a bad habit, we need to be more accepting of that. One thing is certain though, we would be much better placed to begin to help others when we come to understand. I believe it’s now time to act and change.


23 Aug, 2011

6 thoughts on “Character traits

  1. I agree with what you have said here. The world needs to be more accepting.

    I’d like to say if people do not look beyond my outward appearance, to get to know the real person inside, then they are not worth knowing.

    My real friends accept me for me with all my faults and good qualities.

    1. Being accepted and having acceptance for the way we are, is the key… the same way we are accepting of others, with all their character traits.

      I totally agree that friends (or family) will be accepting if they want to be. In my own experience, though, the world we live in with all its stress factors, sometimes makes it difficult for that to happen.

  2. A lot of character traits may come from conditions that we have.

    I’m sure that my parents always considered me to be lazy, when most of the time I was just so depressed that I couldn’t even get out of bed on some days. It would be nice if the world was more accepting and tolerant of people who have a condition that may not always show on the outside.

    Hopefully someday that will be possible.

    1. Wonderful example Randy. It’s a shame your parents didn’t understand your depression as a child. How different things would have been for you back then if they had.

      At least you were aware and that is what matters. In some cases when we have an understanding of what we’re dealing with, we’re able to find ways to help ourselves. Thanks for posting today.

  3. I agree also. If people were more accepting of others with disabilities things would be much better for everyone. I was treated by my parents much like you were, so I understand where you’re coming from. In fact I don’t think my parents expected me to go too far.

    The doctors painted the worst picture to them about my future. Some people have in their minds that people can’t change and all is lost but that’s so far from the truth.

    People can change if they want to, they just have to want to do it.

    1. I agree with you Lisa.

      It seems to me that we’re defined by our character traits, rather than what we really deal with. If others understood why we behave a certain way, there would be more compassion, understanding and more help being brought into the equation.

      I think with disability, people’s lack of understanding of a particular condition and/or disability, gives rise to these kind of thoughts.

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