Whether you’re a child or a parent, you will have spent some of your time observing your own parents. It’s how we learn.
Although I was conditioned and was expected to conform, I was never prepared for adult life, but we only know that when it’s our turn to navigate adulthood. Looking back I can see that I was completely ill prepared for the task ahead.
Over the years, I have learned more by what my parents did and how they behaved than by what they said. The fundamental discussions parents should have with their children such as personal integrity, work ethic and relationships were never discussed. I think as children we learn from observing our parents.
We also learn to observe how our parents fight, how they make up, how they interact with each other and how they show compassion. Fundamentally, our parents shape our world, shape our thoughts and shape us, regardless of whether we come out prepared for adult life.
Our parents’ bad habits become ours. Their conditioning behaviour also become ours. When our parents make mistakes, they make it easier for us to change the way we do things.
With new experiences, we physically and emotionally grow. Our parents influence us, but we have the capacity to think outside the box and change things for ourselves so that we get to live the life we want to live.
I believe that as an adult, our lives are our responsibility regardless of those earlier influences. Childhood healing is what it is all about.