Closing the door

I wake up with the same recurring thoughts whirling through my mind of things wronged, by those who were supposed to support and protect me, growing up.

Unless we deal with and close the door on some of the older issues, we will never realistically be able to bring closure on our issues and I’m no different. Although more is being done to quash the stigma around disability, a person’s disability journey starts with their family and as my experience shows not all families get that right.

I’m not sure which comes first, the chicken or the egg; my Cerebral Palsy or certain family’s attitude. Families must learn to embrace the whole disability scenario, however mild or debilitating a child’s disability is. There is no excuse for anyone’s ignorance.

In the 60’s, there seemed to a stigma around disability and as I see the catalogue of errors, based around my own physical and emotional issues, I know my life would never have been any different. It’s the life I was given.  I need to come to terms with and bring closure on those re-occurring thoughts.

Like myself, we must all come to terms with what happens to us, but our families must also come to terms with and accept their own failings of what’s simply ignored.

12 Mar, 2015

8 thoughts on “Closing the door

  1. I agree. We can’t live our lives holding a grudge. It will eat at us until we let it go.

    What’s done is done and we can’t change the past, just learn from it. If we hang on to it; it will consume our lives.

    1. Sometimes we must sew a seed, get those thoughts out. I’m not one for holding grudges, but instead use my experiences to find ways of understanding why I’ve had to go through those experiences.

      Of course it doesn’t take away the other person’s accountability or responsibility, they are still very much accountable and responsible, but it does help us understand.

  2. I think what helps is accountability and acceptability as without both it is enormously difficult to put such a huge issue where it needs to be and move on.

    You have managed to turn your experiences into something positive and that in itself shows the true nature of the path you are taking.

    1. Yes you’re absolutely right, without accountability and acceptability, it’s almost impossible to move on, unless you’re the type of person who claims to let things go over their head, but not sure those type of people exist and if they do, they’re few and far between.

      The nature of how the human mind works, makes it hard for anyone to experience negative things and never be affected by them. Most of us will try to convince ourselves that we’re not affected, but eventually we do get caught out.

      I have seen that happen many times before, by people who always say they’re okay with things, when it becomes obvious they’re really not okay with things.

  3. I know when growing up, my family never came to terms with my CP. Today, I would say the only person who has come close to fully accepting it is my mom. Now that I am an adult I feel like she makes more of an effort to understand me.

    Unfortunately, I had to live through a meltdown for it to happen. I feel the rest of the family hasn’t figured out how to deal with my disability, but I am tired of it all.

    I have enough to deal with to worry about it. It’s on them if they don’t want to know the person I have become.

    1. I’m not sure whether it’s harder for a mum, since the mum’s the one that gives birth to us. Perhaps mum’s feel more responsible in a way and have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that we’re not born perfect.

      It’s no excuse of course, but unless we ask (and I never did), I’m not sure whether mums do carry more guilt over something they could have done; or should have done to avoid complications through the birthing process.

      I know that my birth was particularly traumatic. Whatever they have to deal with and how we come through the birth process is obviously a different argument. All families need to come to terms with and deal with anyone in their family who deals with a disability; whether it be a parent or sibling, there can be no excuse.

      I tend to agree and resonate with your feelings on your last sentence Maria. It’s absolutely on them if they don’t want to know the people we have become.

  4. Sometimes I think the best way to handle people who have wronged us is to leave them alone and let life or death hold them accountable; nobody gets away with anything.

    This site is a testament that you have eyed diversity in its face and conquered every painful event of your past. You are moving forward and you’re bringing a lot of people with you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Order my new book

Ilana x