It is truly a revelation when we can see and understand how and why we get to a particular place; where we can see and understand exactly what’s happened and we know there’s nothing we could have done about it.
It also makes it a revelation because it’s not something you thought you would ever understand but you do and that’s cathartic, although sometimes a hard pill to swallow. I think it makes it easier when we do understand because it helps us draw a line under our understanding on how things happened, even if we can’t at that point change anything.
I would rather live with knowing that I understand the whole picture of something that should have been afforded to me, than to have to continue to unravel my own understanding, piece by piece and still not get to that place. It becomes frustrating when we have to continue to play out our experiences, trying to work through interpretations of conversations and what they mean.
It doesn’t make what’s done right if we have been wronged, or make those accountable any less accountable, but it does help with how we feel about that issue, allowing us to emotionally move on. At least knowing the bigger picture, even if we can’t literally fill the last piece to the jigsaw, we’ll know what that piece is.
My writing and working through my experiences over the last 7+ years has brought me closure in this area of my life and it’s not my issue. It always lies with the person who is choosing not to deal with it.
*Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends.*