Fifty-five years on knowing I have cerebral palsy and Autism is a long way from where I started with no diagnosis on either, and although they give me closure on my symptoms that’s not the real problem here.
To say I am relieved I can finally put a name to my symptoms is an understatement, the journey has been tough. Knowing brings about understanding where I had none, but it’s the misjudgements and opinions over the years that I’ve had to deal with that I’ve struggled with more.
Even with a diagnosis you’re not always going to have co-operation, but with a diagnosis that’s known, others have no excuse to behave badly.
It’s also having to continually work through my emotional struggles on my own, particularly in my school years. Going back into school every day, continually being subjected and ridiculed because I wasn’t making headway and being made an example of, highlighted my struggles even further. Going into exams with little to no substance on my revision notes, were also enormously difficult times.
Having been let down by the many systems through school, the NHS and with no emotional support, I continued to struggle over the years. That exonerates me from any blame and guilt, but it doesn’t get others off the hook.
In my next personal blog, I will go into more detail on my understanding of my Autism symptoms from my Consultation. I am, however left with one question, regardless of how it happened… how can others have let it happen?