Fifty-five years on knowing I have cerebral palsy and autism is a long way from where I started, with no diagnosis on either, and although they give me closure on my symptoms I have to come to terms with both.
To say I am relieved I can finally put a name to my symptoms is an understatement, the journey has been tough. Knowing brings about understanding where I had none, but other people’s communication and opinions that I’ve had to deal with, are what I’ve struggled with the most.
Even with a diagnosis you’re not always going to have co-operation, but having to continually work through my emotional struggles on my own, in my school years, was all the more difficult. Going back into school every day, continually being ridiculed because I wasn’t making headway and being made an example of highlighted my struggles even further.
Going into exams with little to no substance on my revision notes was difficult. Having been let down by the system through school, then the NHS and with no emotional support, I continued to struggle over the years. It exonerates me from any blame and guilt, but it doesn’t get others off the hook.
In another personal blog, I will go into detail on my understanding of my autism symptoms from my consultation. I am, however left with one question, regardless of how it happened, how can others have let this happen?