Compensatory senses

Over the years, my senses have compensated for the lack of conscious awareness of feeling, arising from extensive damage to my Cerebral Cortex, brought about through a stroke, to the area of the brain that deals with emotions and is the reason I have Cerebral Palsy.

Because I lack emotional awareness on all levels, my senses are heightened and that helps me work out how other people feel and what they’re thinking. It’s become my lifeline and that helps me connect with life, people and the outside world. It’s a necessity for me. Reading situations with clarity also helps me panic less.

When I am able to impart that information to others, it also gives awareness for them in what they’re dealing with and although I see that as helpful, it can make others annoyed when I reach a conclusion they’re not prepared for, don’t like or don’t agree with, because they’re not a position to deal with it and that’s always difficult.

Through my heightened senses, my explanation is often met with disapproval and irritation, until disapproval turns into approval and that part is far from easy.

9 Sep, 2016

6 thoughts on “Compensatory senses

  1. Your spiritual awareness puts you in tune with things intuitively, like an adviser or possibly a healer in some way. You don’t have to keep quiet about your journey, it’s your gift to make sense of things.

    We’re regular human beings with special purpose, perhaps you have found yours.

    1. Awww thanks Tim. Yes, I definitely feel I have found my purpose.

      Having gone through my experiences, I wouldn’t advocate anyone else find out they deal with something in this way, because my formative years were very difficult with me not knowing.

      My blogs are my journey. Writing blogs about my experiences has brought me the clarity I needed to bring acceptance on my experiences. I feel a different person now; more empowered.

      I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing now, if I had have known about Cerebral Palsy as a child. I am grateful it’s brought me to this place. I can’t believe the site is still going after 6 years. Some days, I still have to pinch myself.

      1. Of course you’ve found your purpose Ilana, most of us find it after we’ve achieved it or until we take a step back and let something outside this world show us the way; perhaps you did both.

        1. Thanks Tim. I suppose at the back of my mind I was always confident I would find out exactly what was wrong with me; that my time would come.

          I used to spend a lot of my childhood in quiet contemplation. Perhaps that what was in my thoughts growing up at that time, had something to do with where I am now; with what I’m doing now with the site.

          I think that what I had back then is what I have now; but I’m more aware now. I must have done both, without actually knowing I had.

  2. Your journey to this place was a long one, but you have proven that this was your destination all the time. It just took 46 years to get there.

    1. Thank you. Yes, reading your response here has been quite emotional. I’m not sure I’ve come to terms with the whole concept of having to wait 46 years and although I understand why, it doesn’t make my struggles and those years any easier to bear.

      I know that if I had have known as a child that I had Cerebral Palsy I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing now with my site. I need to balance my thoughts on both of those issues.

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Many thanks
Ilana x