There is no getting away from the fact that a diagnosis around the age of 2 of cerebral palsy, over the years there are those players who were by the very definition of knowing my diagnosis before me were complicit in deceit.
I’m not sure what’s worse, someone or others being complicit in deceit on something we’re not made aware of and should have been, or us having to live with the connotations of not knowing that something and having to endure that thing.
But things will never entirely be hidden for those who choose to be complicit in deceit. When the universe expects something to happen and others try to hide what they know, the universe will always conspire to balance and correct.
My living with both were hard. I was frustrated because I wanted to know about my disability and yet as many times as I tried to shine the torch on that, equally as many times the door closed behind me, leaving me with yet more frustration that turned into anger and my continually being blamed over other things, because I was angry.
Living with a disability didn’t come without its difficulties either. Being exposed because of my inability to learn was difficult enough, but being exposed by those whose job it was to protect me, was even more difficult.
Where trust is the foundation on which all relationships are based, that didn’t happen and where trust is broken there is no trust, or very little in the way of relationships. But when it comes to family we don’t always have a choice.
In one of my earlier blogs I talk about living a lie. I still believe that is true. Knowing what I know, my life has and continues to based on lies, there is simply no getting away from that.