Just because someone pays us a compliment, doesn’t mean we have the confidence to match. That’s not how it works.
Compliments don’t work unless we’re feeling confident inside. Even if we continue to compliment someone, unless that person inwardly feels the compliment, they will never learn to accept the compliment. Unfortunately when our confidence and self-esteem is at an all time low, taking on a compliment won’t make us feel any better about ourselves.
Our subconscious has to feel and believe all the things our conscious is telling us. If we accept a compliment because our subconscious believes the compliment, we will certainly be in a position to pay other people a compliment back. If we find it difficult to accept a compliment, we will find it difficult to compliment others.
In the same way, when we pay someone a compliment we have to mean it. For example, someone will pay us a compliment, like when we have a new haircut. They know we’ve had a hair cut, but rather than offend and say they don’t like it, they’ll tell us how nice it is. I would rather someone be honest, than compliment me on something they know they don’t like.
If we feel confident and someone compliments us then it will be easy to accept their compliment, but if we’re feeling anything but confident, being complimented is probably the last thing we need. We can never gain confidence if we have no confidence to begin with, even if someone constantly pays us a compliment. We have to feel confident before we learn to accept a compliment. With no confidence, all a compliment will do is make us more insecure.
Years on we’ll still have the same insecure thoughts, even with thousands of compliments behind us. We have to feel good about ourselves for compliments to work effectively.