As a child, always being controlled and told what to do, didn’t fill me with confidence or self-esteem; so it’s not surprising that I never really knew whether I was capable of achieving anything, or doing anything for myself.
It took me a long to realise that as the adult, I didn’t need my parents’ approval, nor did I need to prove that I was capable of doing things. I believe we spend far too much time trying to show others what we’re capable of, particularly our parents.
It’s like we’ve got to prove our worthiness. Some children will literally spend a lifetime trying to show their parents what they’re capable of. How sad.
To be confident in your own abilities, I would suggest:
- Look at your stressors to see what they are to see if you can make any changes to the way you do things. I believe we can always make light work;
- Adjust your priorities so that you take on as much as you know you can handle and feel free to say No;
- Stop trying to be a perfectionist. That will only add to more of your stress;
- Always plan ahead so that you’re organised. That way you’ll give yourself extra time to do more of what you want;
- Always make time to take up a leisure activity or exercise;
- Take care of your emotional and physical needs;
- Take control so that you say No when you feel it’s appropriate to say No.
When we do anything for ourselves, we encourage confidence, promote self-awareness and self-esteem, all of which we need in our lives. We also learn all there is to know about us, like what our likes and dislikes are, how we feel about certain things and how we perceive other people and situations.
Having had experience on both sides of the coin, I know which side I would rather be on. The side that allows me to be me and live my life for me.