Confrontation and its merits

Confrontation is probably something we’ve all had to deal with through work, school, family or even friends. If we can’t avoid confrontation, how do we then deal with being confronted?

Disagreements, arguments and confrontations happen when we say something inappropriate or offensive, without realising what we’ve said. On someone else’s part, going in fighting and screaming, wouldn’t be the best way to handle the situation? Standing anyone’s ground only serves to fuel anger further.

Some people tend to avoid confrontation, but the problem with avoiding confrontation is that if we do have to confront someone, the issue doesn’t go away. It may also drain our confidence; as we will begin to worry more. There could be many reasons why we choose not to confront; but I a pacifist will sit on the fence instead. The only problem with that is that we will begin to avoid situations where we may have to see, or be in contact with the person we need to confront and that never sits comfortably.

That may work for a finite time, but avoiding situations isn’t dealing with the issue. Not dealing with the issue means we’re not learning either, or setting us up for the right of passage to a more peaceful footing. We can never be at peace when we spend our lives avoiding people. In my experience, it’s easier to talk. That way the problem doesn’t magnify itself and it gets resolved.

I believe we don’t have to be self-righteous to prove that we’re right. We also don’t have to prove that we’re right, to believe what we know. Just because we confront someone about an issue, doesn’t mean that issue will turn into a power struggle.

I personally believe that no one needs to lose. It depends on both party’s approach. Behaving in a tactful but appropriate way can bring about a win, win situation for everyone.


6 Jun, 2011

6 thoughts on “Confrontation and its merits

  1. I think that most of us are not naturally confrontational and that we have to learn how to confront people so that we are not walked over. It’s not easy, especially when this is out of character.

    I share an office with someone who is far too confrontational and this is a negative thing in his relationships with clients and colleagues.

    As ever, the key is finding a balance while being true to oneself and whilst reaching a compromise.

    1. I agree that most of us are not naturally confrontational. You are right about finding a balance, being true to ourselves and reaching a compromise.

      We should be able to speak out when there is need without worrying about the consequences.

  2. I avoid confrontation unless I feel it is necessary. But I know with my father it is difficult. We both tend to lock horns. My brother will avoid them at all cost. Even leaving to get away from them.

    I have to remind myself not to raise my voice or watch the tone I am using. I think at all cost it is about remaining calm.

    Once I lose it, it is not good. No Good can come out of that. I am talking from experience.

    1. I understand Randy. It can be difficult depending on who we’re trying to have a conversation with whether what we say turns out to be confrontational. It’s not so easy.

      I am sure we can all relate in one way or another.

  3. I avoid confrontation if I can.

    When I do confront, I usually forget half the stuff I need to say and just get frustrated and angry at myself.

    I need to confront some people about a certain situation but have been avoiding it because I don’t know the words to say or how to express myself, so the meaning comes across correctly.

    1. I know confrontation isn’t easy, but not to confront means we live with unease.

      I believe it’s a skill we need to practice at. The more we speak out, the more we will know how to speak out. Perhaps don’t see it as a confrontation but a conversation you need to have.

      Confrontations can be amicable, but It very much depends on what we say and how we say it as to how the other person responds. The more practice we have, the better we become at saying what we need to say.

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