Confrontational relationships

Supportive relationships are important for both our mental and physical health, without which we will begin to struggle. It’s never easy walking away, but it must be better than dealing with confrontational relationships. No one should have to put up with confrontation.

The following may help:

  • When we try to change anyone, who is difficult, it can only result in a power struggle causing defensiveness and inviting criticism in through the back door. Unfortunately, that person will always see us as being the difficult ones;
  • Try not to entice or challenge the other person. By keeping conversations neutral you’re not inviting problems in. People tend to have their own thoughts and opinions on subjects like politics or religion, so it is probably a good idea to keep the conversation simple;
  • Be aware of how much control you have and continue to work on keeping control. Be assertive when communicating and make sure the other person doesn’t cross their boundaries, so that you are the one made to feel uncomfortable;
  • I believe it’s important to know the other person and his negative traits. It’s very easy to always want to give someone the benefit of the doubt all the time, but that never works in the longer term. Keep anything important to yourself;
  • If they’re not capable of affection and support, try to accept them that way. That way you will never be disappointed, because you won’t expect. Part of our problem is hoping that people will change;

Finally, take time out for yourself and keep your distance if you need to. In the longer term if problems continue to persist it’s probably time to cut ties. Cutting ties will help with reducing stress and anxiety. No one should have to put up with confrontations.


4 Aug, 2012

10 thoughts on “Confrontational relationships

  1. It sounds bizarre but I think I used to actually enjoy having confrontational relationships since it was all I was used to from my childhood!

    I ended up with many a “toxic” friend who would make my life very difficult with all the chaos they would drag with them.

    Now I usually try to avoid those people which makes my life pretty stable. I do miss the chaos at times, but that’s because it was all I knew and for the most part, my life is a lot simpler without it.

    1. Unfortunately it’s familiar and all we know. It’s not surprising you feel you miss the chaos, but you’re much better off without it.

      I am pleased your life is so much more simple without it. That’s the way it should be.

  2. Sound advice – as ever. Unfortunately it is easy to get drawn into confrontation before you know where an argument is heading.

    I tend to remind myself that I don’t have to convince the other person they are wrong if I know it. I find that helps.

    1. Thank you. I agree that it’s easy to get drawn in, but from my own experience it depends on who I’m having the discussion with. It helps to know our customers!

  3. You can never or will never change a person.

    You can only find things in them and love them for who they are. Be sure they love you just as much, because if not things always end in a broken heart.

    1. Thanks Justin. Your response sounds like you’ve very much speaking from personal experience. You seem very passionate about it.

      You’re right, none of us can change anyone else. They have to want to change and do it for themselves. I do believe anyone can change, they just have to want to.

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