Conquering anxieties

When I was a little girl I used to avoid situations rather than work through them, but situations will always come up, from school to jobs to personal stuff and they’re usually the things we don’t want to have to deal with.

Feeling uneasy about any situation leads to anxiety and our first reaction to that is to avoid the situation altogether. Unfortunately, we have to face and conquer situations, or the anxiety we feel will begin to control us. We need to understand why we have anxiety, so we can focus on the right responses.

That way we get to sort the problem out and hopefully achieve our goals instead of walking away from them. Apprehension and fear are usually the reason we walk away. In my formative years my life was continually based on negative situations, which were always being reinforced.

As a child, my inability through fear to take control meant that I would constantly remove myself from situations where I needed to accomplish or take control. I was constantly reinforcing my negative actions, making excuses not to do anything. I withdrew early on. I’m not sure how much I’d talked myself into, or how far the fear and anxiety went.

But as an adult, I learned to take a different view. I believe that when we face the fear, however tough we feel that’s going to be, there’s always the possibility that things will work out. Situations will be resolved and goals should be achieved.  However painful it is, with experience things always get easier.

Of course, overcoming any form of fear or avoidance takes patience and practice. It’s not an overnight fix… but one thing is assured and it is my belief that the more you practice it, the easier it becomes.

13 May, 2012

8 thoughts on “Conquering anxieties

  1. There is a saying about facing fear and doing it anyway and I think there is a lot to be said for that; but it does take braveness and a little confidence to do that.

    Whenever I have approached a problem or a situation with that attitude and I have looked back afterwards and have realised that the situation wasn’t that daunting after all, but that I just hadn’t thought it at the time.

    1. I agree with all of your points. I think if we were all brave and had confidence we would deal with and overcome a lot of our anxieties. We also tend to blow things out of proportion and talk ourselves into not being able to approach or even handle a problem or situation.

      I believe that with a positive attitude and determination, dealing with anxieties can be achieved and overcome. It just takes practice.

  2. Growing up, most of my anxiety was due to not wanting to have to explain my ‘problem’ to other people.

    I avoided social activities altogether, so I became an introvert. Even now I would prefer to avoid those situations, but I am slowly learning how to deal.

    1. I can certainly empathise with you. You’re right about not wanting to explain about what you deal with. Why should you have to? I felt that too. It was worse with total strangers because they would just stare. Not sure whether you had that also.

      With no positive input, we would always struggle. Now I believe we have to re-educate ourselves to get past all of this so that we’re okay about what we deal with. I tend to think it’s other people with the problem, it’s ignorance. Emotionally I choose to make myself stronger.

      I am pleased you are learning to deal with your social activities. You’re as good as the next person Bill, with your courage and determination with what you have to deal with, you’re even better.

  3. I was the other way around. When I was younger I had no fear of situations. Then when I got older, anxiety grabbed me because I wanted to be like everyone else. As my legs straightened out and I didn’t walk in an as noticeable a ‘CP’ way, I tried to be able-bodied people but ironically that made my anxiety worse.

    My Dad said to me ‘If you still walked with your knees touching each other I guarantee you’d have a big smile on your face.’ And he was right. The boy I was was devoid of vanity, the teenager I was becoming was image conscious.

    I had to come full circle in my 20’s and realise that I could only conquer my demons by working through them and not avoiding them.

    1. Thanks Stuart. I think my inability to come forward as a child came from a lack of support and confidence. It sounds like you had confidence and support.

      I have to say that as we reach our teenage years, we tend to go through the phase of wanting to be like everyone else. We want to fit into our lives with our peers, so will try to do the things they can do; but of course with CP that’s not possible.

      I realised very early on what my limitations were, particularly with sport. I resigned myself and never give it a second’s thought, I just knew I couldn’t do those things.

      It sounds as though you’re where you should be now, having come full circle. I believe it’s important to have support when dealing with something like CP, because it allows us address and conquer any anxieties we pick up along the way.

  4. People avoid doctors for that same reason. Fear of the unknown.

    I think finding out you have something wrong early is better so it can be fixed. Most of the time early diagnosis is very curable.

    1. I completely agree with you.

      In my opinion men seem to be worse than women, but in any event I feel we must all be instrumental in dealing with anxiety issues, so that we can conquer those fears.

      You are right, dealing with anxiety is one of the reasons why we often fail to get checked out by a doctor, if we’re feeling unwell.

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