Convincing others

Isn’t it frustrating when you tell someone something and you end up having to convince them before they’ll agree with you?

Not all people accept what we say. We almost have to convince them to accept a new belief on what they already know or believe. In some cases we have to prove to the other person that their current thinking is wrong in order for them to be convinced on what we’re telling them.

Of course if they have no knowledge on our thinking there would be no real reason why they would not be convinced, unless they happen to be stubborn of course.

So why does this happen?

  • Well our belief system is one problem. As we grow we automatically have our own belief system in place, regardless of whether our belief system is right. That belief system is usually based on life’s experiences. If the person you’re trying to convince already has their own thoughts on those beliefs, trying to convince them otherwise will prove fruitless;
  • Knowledge can be another problem. If the person you’re trying to convince has background information and knowledge on what you’re trying to say, then trying to convince them won’t work. They would have to know nothing to be convinced of what you’re saying;
  • The eternal skeptic can also make it difficult. Skeptics tend to doubt everything and anyone, it doesn’t matter the subject. They will never accept anything unless they’re one hundred percent sure themselves.

From my own experiences, I have found that the more negative input someone has had in their formative years, the more inclined they will be, to dig their heels. It’s not that what you’re saying doesn’t resonate with them, but much of the wrong influences in their life have subconsciously got them to a point, where they’re not willing to accept what you say.

I also believe that if you are part of the link by association to the people in their past, they will never be convinced either. You would have to change their subconscious thinking first. I believe this can be a really big issue for some.


8 Dec, 2011

4 thoughts on “Convincing others

  1. With some people this is very true.

    My friends never believed stories of my childhood and had the nerve to ask my aunt and then came back all smug and saying “so you were telling the truth.”

    Just because they hadn’t had any of those experiences didn’t mean those experiences didn’t happen to other people.

    Thank you for posting this.

    1. Thank you for your response. 🙂

      I think you are absolutely right. I also think it’s sad the lengths people go to, to find out about what’s staring them in the face. It’s a shame that in your case, your friends had to go and ask your aunt. They should have believed your story.

      It also makes us think differently about those people. You would have had to come back in on the back of their actions. That’s not so easy to do.

  2. I think the hardest people to convince are our children. They may not believe us, but when someone else tells them the same thing it’s like they’ve discovered something wonderful and it’s the same thing you’ve been telling them for a while!

    I also have a sister who is ‘always right,’or she thinks she is. She thinks she knows everything about everything so she makes me doubt myself sometimes, until I go find out that I am right all along. Makes me ill when we get into discussions.

    I’m nice and tell her okay. It’s not worth arguing over with her.

    1. I totally agree with you Lisa. As you say you can talk to them until you’re blue in the face, but as soon as that something has been said by someone else, they’re completed hooked. It’s frustrating, upsetting and annoying all at the same time.

      I also completely understand your sentiments with regard to your sister. It happens in most families. What starts of as a harmless discussion, ends up as a lively debate, then ends in arguments.

      It’s not worth the effort in the first place. Probably time to back off.

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