Dealing with a loss

It is hard to watch a loved one work through a terminal illness, let alone watch them work through their terminal illness, only to see them lose their fight for life. I know because I’ve been through it and know exactly how it works.

As reality sets in, the feeling of hopelessness comes over us as we continue to work through the days that lie ahead. As panic sets in, we begin to work on autopilot, as we cling to the hope that we have another day to try to turn something around.

Having to come to terms with losing someone, makes their passing seem final. As we are forced to come to terms with the possibility that we may lose our loved one, we forget that the cycle of life exists in this timeframe. Although loved ones physically leave us, spiritually they will always be around us. They’re never far away.

To some death is final. It’s the black hole we equate with death that nothing exists after their passing. The door we close doesn’t stay closed at all. A person’s passing is eternal, it continues in the after life. Death marks the transition and crossing from one life to another, in a different time zone. That’s all.

If we can believe and come to embrace that concept, we will never fear a loved-ones passing or see it as final. Anyone’s passing is inevitable and eternal.


14 May, 2015

6 thoughts on “Dealing with a loss

  1. The only loss I have had to really deal with was my mother and she had dementia so she wasn’t really aware of her own passing.

    I actually haven’t had anyone that close to me pass, so I dread when it really happens. The reality for me was that in my life getting close to people wasn’t really an option. I was so used to people coming in and out of my life that it was more normal for that to happen.

    Maybe someday I’ll actually be able to feel this kind of loss, instead of just going through it and not feeling much of anything!

    1. Thanks Randy. It’s harder when we are close to someone and lose that person, but from what you say Randy you struggled with your mother, so eventually when she passed it didn’t seem such a great loss to you. The closer we are to someone before they pass, the bigger the loss or void.

      Although it’s important to evaluate our feelings over that period, I do feel it’s even more important to understand the concept of death and what it all really means beyond the grave. Unfortunately very little is discussed and think it needs to be discussed.

      It stands to reason that the more we know and understand, the less we will feel isolated and alone and the less we will grieve. We can think about someone who is no longer in our life and feel close to them without having to grieve. I believe we grieve more because we understand very little.

  2. My understanding is that death is not a termination, it’s a transition to something far beyond my comprehension and imagination.

    I naturally and perhaps selfishly mourn the physical death of my loved ones simply because I’m afraid of their permanent absence and their new beginning. A part of me believes that we don’t die. Perhaps we actually died the day we were born.

    1. I don’t believe death is not a termination, from what I know it’s a transition to something, which for many of us is far beyond our comprehension and imagination, you’re right.

      I believe the soul makes the transition to spirit and in that respect we don’t die, but in the physical sense we do. The moment we’re born I believe we are on our transition from this life into the next.

  3. I understand that we are merely passing through this life, picking up experiences along the way.

    My father died a long time ago when I was quite young and I believe he is around me and there for me when I need help. It was hard when he died but I have learnt a lot since then and don’t look at death in the same way anymore.

    I guess the sense of loss is proportionate to the feelings shared whilst alive. I am almost embarrassed to say that I remember a family member passing a few years ago and the only feeling was one of relief, but that of course was the responsibility of the person who died and not the ones he left behind.

    1. Yes, some of us will come through maturity with a totally new outlook on things like death, others will continue to live the same lives and will learn very little.

      It’s always sad when someone passes and there is nothing but relief. It’s important to leave a lasting impression and/or legacy behind. That I believe is the most important thing we will ever do.

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