When someone is being critical they use it as a means of criticism, partly because they know they can and because we don’t know how to stop them and nine times out of ten they will get away with it, until we learn to say ‘no.’
Critical people tend not to think about the way they speak, they just speak. They’ll just bleat something out, then think about what they’ve said after they’ve said it, by which time it’s too late to change what’s been said. They tend not to think about it.
We’re critical because of how we feel about ourselves. It’s also a reflection of what we’re dealing with at the time. If we’re having a hard time working through some of our issues, we’re going to feel angry. Because of how we feel, we tend to take our anger out on those we love.
But there is always a bigger picture to someone’s emotions. We don’t just let off steam at someone because we want to hurt the other person. It’s not something we are consciously aware of, why we’re not happy, or why we’re feeling angry. We just know that we are all those things.
Our subconscious thoughts usually stem from childhood experiences. Unfortunately, it becomes too easy and takes a split second to lash out, but takes what seems a lifetime to make amends.
Although I wasn’t critical of others growing up, I do remember being angry and would use that as a means of defending myself. But the buck stops firmly with us, regardless of how we feel.
We must be responsible for our own behaviour regardless of what’s gone before us.