When someone is being overly critical, it is often because we don’t stop them and because they know they can get away with it, unless we learn to object. In those circumstances, we must either understand the underlying message, ignore the message, or as a last resort, disengage.
Critical people don’t think about what they’re going to say before they say it. They’ll bleat something out, then think about what they’ve said after they’ve said it, by which time it’s too late to change anything.
But being critical of others stems from how we feel about ourselves. It’s also a reflection of what we’re dealing with at the time. If we’re having a hard time working through our issues, we’re going to feel angry. We take our anger out on those we love.
There is often a bigger picture to someone’s anger and emotions. We don’t just let off steam because we want to hurt someone. We won’t always know why we’re letting off steam, but letting off steam comes from our subconscious thinking: if our childhood experiences, or recent experiences are negative, it is those experiences that will make us angry.
Unfortunately, when we’re angry, all it takes is a split second to lash out, but it can take a lifetime to make amends. We must all take responsibility for our behaviour.