We’re human, therefore when anyone says something to hurt us, we may take it personally. We will always set ourselves up to feel pain when we take any injustice personally.
That’s not to say it is an injustice, injustice we think is intended for us isn’t always meant to be personal. It may seem like it is, but when it comes to relationships and families, they may not always wittingly set out to hurt another family member intentionally.
It is often how others learn to deal with themselves, what they know, what they’ve learned and how they have been parented themselves, equals how they are. When we come to understand why, we will come to see and know the bigger picture.
On our part, when we constantly blame others for how we feel and that can’t help us move on with our lives. How we feel is our responsibility, regardless of any past indiscretions. But blaming others doesn’t allow us to move past the injustice.
What I know is that when we blame others, we give our power away to those who don’t deal with us appropriately. Parents’ parent what they know. Nothing we do will change that. When we continuously blame, we continue the abuse patterns on ourselves.
Where we can change, we must always try and where that isn’t an option, we must concede and let go. If something has been done to us by someone else, it’s very rare they will come back, own up or apologise, unless they recognise their own behaviour patterns.
All we can do is understand, let go and move on. As they say, what we continue to resist will always persist.