Dealing with negative people

I am sure we’ve all come across negative people in our lives who we would rather not have to deal with, but walking away and starting a new life isn’t always an option. We need to be clever.

For others, it’s a means of controlling other people, it’s a means of gaining attention, albeit in a negative way. Others may subconsciously not even be aware they are being negative. Negative people often see other people as being negative, never themselves.

But I’m of the opinion that we don’t have to convince other people to know we’re right. From my own experience, whatever views we bring to the table, is always met with more opposition. Whatever we say they will find ten different reasons to back their argument up. Avoiding arguments at all costs is the way to go.

Have you also noticed how negative people tend to stick to the same topic of conversation? It doesn’t matter how long ago you saw them; it’s a new visit with what could be new and interesting conversation, but the topic of conversation always seems to turn to something they’re dealing with, no matter what it is.

Keep the conversation simple. Don’t talk about the things you know others will struggle with. If you know the person well enough, you’ll know already which conversations to avoid. From my own experience, it’s the same conversations that get us into trouble in the first place.

In short, it’s very easy for a conversation to strike up resentment, so stick to lighter topics that are less controversial, less important. Know your audience too. Always try and perceive a negative person in a positive way, so that what they say becomes positive for you.

Take responsibility for your own perceptions so that you remain positive, even if the other person isn’t. It’s a skill that needs honing. It’s not easy to do, but with practice it’s achievable.

Failing that you’ll have no choice but to limit your time with them.


1 Nov, 2011

4 thoughts on “Dealing with negative people

  1. Living with a negative person I have my own coping things that I do.

    I have found if he does not get attention from his behavior he will stop it. It took me a long time to figure that one out.

    I tend to ignore him sometimes and pretend that I do not hear him. I find if I am around him too much his negativity will rub off on me some days. That is why I get away for the better part of the day, so I can be a happy person and be with people who make my smile. I refuse to let him drag me down.

    1. You’re probably not alone! I think we all have coping mechanisms around those people who are negative. We have no choice sometimes.

  2. I don’t see myself as a negative person like I used to be.

    I do look at things more on a positive note nowadays. My daughter is a negative person though and I can’t move away from her. I do encourage her to be more positive but it seems like something is wrong everyday with her.

    If things don’t go right or just her way the world will end! It does get kind of boring when people end up turning the conversation around to where it’s always about them and I try not to do that either.

    I want to hear about what’s going on, but just not the same stuff over and over again.

    Good post Ilana.

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