Have you ever wondered why some people seem to go on the defensive and make their problems about you?
Defensive behaviour is a pattern that is repeated, usually by people who have a problem with themselves. Although defensive behaviour can temporarily make us feel better about ourselves, it can put us in a very awkward place and in some cases can isolate us and make us look and feel less credible.
But through personal growth we’re more likely to be tolerant of ourselves and therefore tolerant of others. We’re also likely to have more time to listen and accept what other people say and are less likely to ‘fly off the handle’ at every little thing.
When someone says something to us, they’re often trying to try to help even if we don’t want the help or don’t see it as help; therefore, perhaps we should take what they say in the manner it’s given, unless the other person’s tone is wrong and then we may need to deal with their tone.
Being defensive is a bad habit that is easily remedied. Sadly, it’s something we do when we see someone else as the problem and not us. Taking responsibility for what we say and how we say it is the first step to changing defensive behaviour.