Have you ever wondered why some people seem to go on the defensive and make their issues about you? Defensive behaviour is a pattern that is often repeated, usually by people who have a problem with themselves.
Although using defensive behaviour can temporarily make us feel better about ourselves, it can also put us in a very awkward place and in some cases isolate us and make us look and feel less credible.
But through personal growth we’re more likely to be tolerant of ourselves and therefore tolerant of others and less likely to go on the defensive. We’re also more likely to have time to listen and accept what other people say, and less likely to ‘fly off the handle’ at every little thing.
Perhaps we need to understand that when someone says something to us, it’s often because they’re trying to help even if we don’t want the help or don’t see it as help. We should take what they say in the manner it’s given, unless the other person’s tone is wrong, then we may need to deal with their tone.
Being defensive is a bad habit that can be easily remedied though. It’s something we act on when we see someone else as the problem and not us. But taking responsibility for what we say and how we say it, is the first step to changing defensive behaviour.