Although I never knew what was wrong with me as a child, I found myself working on internal dialogue in the hope that being positive would one day allow me to find out what I had been dealing with for years.
Because my physical difficulties were always present, it made thinking about anything else extremely difficult. I knew back then that there was no muscle tone in both my left leg or foot and that my left arm was a lot weaker than my right. It would take me many years through a Neurological Physiotherapy assessment, to also find out that my left arm was also part of the Cerebral Palsy equation.
Neurologically I always knew I was different. Because of my neurological issues, I came across as distant, aloof and prim and proper, yet underneath I was the complete opposite. I always had a problem with normal every day smells, sight and certain sounds. Although I never initially understood why I was different, no one else ever took the time to equate why. They thought it was just me.
When it comes to any disability of course, the physical restraints will always separate us because we have to cope emotionally on our own, but the neurological effects, will have far wider reaching consequences as far as understanding by other people are concerned.
Unless we’re around people who understand and are willing to adapt and co-exist alongside us, living with any kind of disability, is isolating, both emotionally and physically. I believe that isolation may not always be about us and what we deal with.
It’s often brought about because of issues other people haven’t yet dealt with themselves and that takes them away from us emotionally.