Do we really accept?

In yesterday’s blog, I talked about acceptance of the letter I am about to receive from my Neurologist about my Cerebral Palsy. What I am actually trying to work out here, is how we know we are accepting and realistically does that ever happen?

I have also written one or two blogs about acceptance and although I feel sometimes that I am more accepting of what I deal with, there is always something that happens that makes me think I’m not quite at that stage of accepting of what I have to deal with.

We know we have acceptance when we acknowledge the truth of what we deal with and accept what we perceive. Of course this may sound obvious to many of us, after all it makes complete sense, but how many of us in reality manage to accept the life we have and live in denial of what we deal with?

There is a quote about being accepting of what we cannot change and change what we know we can. I can change my thoughts on Cerebral Palsy, but I cannot change the Cerebral Palsy itself. It’s something I was born with and something that will be with me for good.

Acceptance is a little word that has massive implications. Acceptance can only be achieved on a conscious level, but we must work with our unconscious thoughts. I have to accept all the symptoms that contribute to what I deal with, such as brain fatigue, problems with sleep, concentration and all the other neurological symptoms I deal with.

We somehow must find the strength and discipline to accept what we deal with. We must have the right support networks in place so that we can live our lives with little to no stress, that way we are more likely to want to try to live with acceptance, even if we cannot reach it fully.

I am sure many of us wouldn’t want to live with negativity given a choice, but given our lives we don’t always know how to be positive.

3 Dec, 2010

10 thoughts on “Do we really accept?

  1. The third part of that prayer is the wisdom to know the difference. I agree that we should try and change what we can about a situation including how we perceive the situation and when we feel we have done all there is in our power, then we have to come to an understanding enough to accept us and our environment for what it is.

    This is a lifelong journey and it’s something I’m always working on,I can only expect progress and not perfection. Life is ever in a state of flux and I’m going to bend and curve with it.

    1. You are right Brian, acceptance is a lifelong journey, and covers may hurdles we need to overcome, but hopefully through positive experiences, maturity, better choices and a life of learning, we will learn how to make acceptance part of that journey.

      Too many of us probably give up way too soon, probably because we’re never sure how to achieve it.

  2. I don’t give up until I’ve tried everything. Most of the time the things I deal with are so minimal compared to other people’s problems. I think I could be worse and just keep on fighting. I think I have a problem with acceptance of certain things.

    I hope everything turns out well for you. You deserve the best. You’re a gem!

    1. Thanks Lisa. It’s not looking that way right now, but I know that at the end of all of this, I may have to accept the inevitable, that I will never know for sure everything I should rightly know about CP.

      As I said in my journal, it’s not easy to know how to accept everything, but understanding some of what we deal with, may go some way. My spiritual beliefs also certainly help.

  3. I hope that this reply helps bring you acceptance of your condition and ways to deal with it.

    I hope that I also accept and deal with my condition and find ways to curtail the bad side effects from it. If anyone can turn a bad situation around, it is you Ilana!

  4. I’ve lived with CP since birth. I realise that the condition itself isn’t going to change; the damage was done during the process of being born.

    I learned from Ilana that she had it described as a stroke during the birth process. I had never heard of it described as such, but it actually made sense. Over the years, the struggles of CP were apparent in many ways. I’ve also learned that over the years, part of the acceptance process and it is a process, involves getting to the point where one refuses to allow themselves to be defined by their condition.

    It’s obvious that it exists; often times there are physical challenges and obstacles to overcome. There are definitely mental and emotional challenges to overcome as well. I’m not going to deny that fact, but I refuse to allow CP to completely define who I am. I have other attributes that aid in the process of acceptance that go a long way in my book.

    I have a great sense of humor. I have compassion and empathy towards others in worse situations than I’ve found myself. I have pride in my ability to adapt, rather brilliantly, to some of the obstacles that CP has presented. I have the ability to write effectively (although some might disagree!) I have the imagination to create for myself a definition of myself that includes, but does not consume, my entire world that CP presents in my life.

    As I sit here and wonder at what I am able to do versus the other side of this coin. Again, that is not to say that I deny my condition, but I’ve come to terms with the challenges it presents and revel at the ability and ways that I’ve come to adapt to some of those challenges. When still in high school, my stepfather reminded me that education for me is vital since my condition would obviously, as he put it, prevent me from making a living “digging ditches.”

    At that time, I thought he was being mean, but I’ve come to understand that he was praising my potential to utilize my imagination and determination to successfully live with this obvious condition, yet not allow it to define me completely. I’m sorry if I sound preachy, and I certainly have my moments when I stay on the pity-pot far longer than intended, but as Brian says in an earlier reply, we live in a state of flux. Our lives are completely fluid and nothing really ever stays the same and to conclude, our levels of acceptance is going ebb and flow such as the tides.

    Ilana I appreciate your forum/platform you’ve provided for us all to be able to express ourselves. to express myself. Thanks to all your supporters for letting me know that I’m not alone in this challenge of ours!

    1. Thomas you’re certainly not alone and yes I agree that our levels of acceptance is going to ebb and flow as we move through our life, dealing with what we have to as far as CP is concerned.

      I think as much as we try not to let our conditions define us, this is not always the case, but there will be days when we’re feeling on top of the world and we’re okay about what we deal with. Those days will be our less defining days, but I also don’t think it’s so easy to refuse to be defined by what we deal with.

      I don’t believe we all of a sudden wake up one day and we’re cured emotionally and we’ve accepted what we deal with. Acceptance is something we have to work at over time which may not always be within our grasp. I would also think other factors have to be taken into consideration too. If we’re dealing with stress factors in our life, acceptance of what we deal with is less likely to happen.

      I think if you can find something that works for you, then stick to the winning formula! Thanks for posting.

      1. No, I don’t think we can completely deny this condition; more often than not, it’s painfully obvious; I’ve seen myself via the reflection of a shop window when walking down the street.

        I’ll be the first to admit that I’ll never be as graceful as a Richard Gere or Andy Garcia. Of course this is going to be a factor on the total sum of how I define myself. When stating that we should never ourselves be defined completely by our condition, I always include the key word, COMPLETELY.

        That being said, I have to say that after living 46 years with this condition, I never woke up one day and decided this thing called “acceptance” was going to be the law of my personal domain. Acceptance is a goal we all try and strive for.

        There is a saying that someone else in this thread has already mentioned, I believe; “…we strive for progress, not perfection…” That says it all for me. And yes, I do still need support in dealing with this CP thing. Acceptance ebbs and flows; ebbs and flows; ebbs and flows. Happy holidays!

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