Do we think before we speak?

When I was little thinking before I spoke wasn’t something I regularly did. It wasn’t because I was wilful, or because I had an opinion, but because I was struggling with my disability. Through frustration and anger I lashed out, but it wasn’t something I was consciously aware of.

Perhaps others can relate, but how many of us know we’re doing it? Do we make the conscious connection? We don’t choose to be like that. It’s usually our circumstances or our upbringing that make us like that. If we’ve had a too many bad experiences or we’re emotionally struggling, we may lash out.

No one is born angry. But perhaps we must take a moment to step back and work through why we may be angry and think about what we say and how what we say will affect others. Now I know that when I help or talk to someone in a kind way, it sets me up for the day.

Sadly, and is often the case, when we do change, those around us choose to ignore the fact that we’ve changed. People tend to see what they want to see or have known. It’s easier that way. It’s also easier for others to continue to get us into trouble, rather than them recognise their own flaws.

I changed but others didn’t. But perhaps it’s time for us to start making a difference for ourselves and for each other. A kind word can change our day and make us feel good that we’ve done something good. Kind words go such a long way.

2 Jun, 2011

6 thoughts on “Do we think before we speak?

  1. I have acquired a reputation for not thinking before I speak. I was quite independent from my parents and siblings from an early age and probably didn’t really care much about their feelings before I spoke.

    Anyway, as an adult I do try to be aware of what I say before I say it and I think relationships are the better for it.

    1. We all acquire something. At least you know and are making those changes. I believe learning is important, because through our learning, we can begin to make changes, so that we can be better people.

  2. I have had to learn this skill with my father. I had to learn patience as well.

    Sometimes it is difficult to hold back and not give him a verbal blast but it makes for a more peaceful household.

    Usually I will unload when he is not there to get my frustrations out.

    1. Randy you’re probably not alone. I think we probably all have or know someone in our life that we have to be careful not to antagonise when we talk to them. It’s not that we’re particularly at fault with what we say, it’s just the way others perceive what we say that gets us into trouble.

      If the person we’re talking to is laid back and/or easygoing, we’re probably less likely to have to stand our guard on how we say things. I believe it makes a difference.

  3. I totally agree with you. I usually think before I say anything and other times I just don’t say anything when I should.

    1. I think we’ve probably done a little bit of this, depending on who we’ve been trying to speak to. There are people who can make us feel very awkward so usually we’re left with not knowing what to say and how to say it, then we kick ourselves for not saying what we feel we should have said!

      Thinking before we speak gets us into less trouble.

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