Do we think before we speak?

Do we stop to think before we speak? When I was little with everything going on, thinking before I spoke wasn’t something I regularly did, not because I was wilful, or because I had an opinion that didn’t tie in with my family’s opinion, but because of my emotional and physical issues.

Through frustration and anger, I would sometimes lash out. I think we all know or can relate, but I’m not sure how many people care. But I don’t believe we’re fundamentally like that. What I believe is that our circumstances or upbringing can sometimes make us like that.

If we’re emotionally struggling, if we’ve had a tough upbringing, whether it’s financial, or through other forms of stress, we may begin to lose our ability to cope and then we may lash out. We’re not born angry. Perhaps, then we should take a step back to think about what we say and how what we say will affect others. Now I know that when I help or talk to someone in a kind way, it sets me up for the day.

Unfortunately, when I did change, those around chose to ignore those changes. People see what they want to see, it’s easier that way. It’s easier for others to continue to get us into trouble when we’re landing ourselves in trouble, rather than them working through their own flaws. I changed but others didn’t.

In any event, isn’t it time for us all to stand back and make that difference in our lives for ourselves and for each other? It’s amazing how a kind word can change our day and make us feel good about ourselves. Those words go such a long way.


2 Jun, 2011

6 thoughts on “Do we think before we speak?

  1. I have acquired a reputation for not thinking before I speak. I was quite independent from my parents and siblings from an early age and probably didn’t really care much about their feelings before I spoke.

    Anyway, as an adult I do try to be aware of what I say before I say it and I think relationships are the better for it.

    1. We all acquire something. At least you know and are making those changes. I believe learning is important, because through our learning, we can begin to make changes, so that we can be better people.

  2. I have had to learn this skill with my father. I had to learn patience as well.

    Sometimes it is difficult to hold back and not give him a verbal blast but it makes for a more peaceful household.

    Usually I will unload when he is not there to get my frustrations out.

    1. Randy you’re probably not alone. I think we probably all have or know someone in our life that we have to be careful not to antagonise when we talk to them. It’s not that we’re particularly at fault with what we say, it’s just the way others perceive what we say that gets us into trouble.

      If the person we’re talking to is laid back and/or easygoing, we’re probably less likely to have to stand our guard on how we say things. I believe it makes a difference.

  3. I totally agree with you. I usually think before I say anything and other times I just don’t say anything when I should.

    1. I think we’ve probably done a little bit of this, depending on who we’ve been trying to speak to. There are people who can make us feel very awkward so usually we’re left with not knowing what to say and how to say it, then we kick ourselves for not saying what we feel we should have said!

      Thinking before we speak gets us into less trouble.

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