I came to terms that I was different a long time ago. I didn’t know why I was, because nothing was ever explored or looked into, apart from the fact that I had a bad leg and a bad foot.
Although I would contemplate many things as a child, fast forward to my early 20’s, I was still continuing to contemplate things. I didn’t know about my mental symptoms at the time, but still trying to get to grips with myself was a full-time job. I would while away the hours, looking at how I responded to stimuli.
Although things weren’t obvious because I had no-one to compare my symptoms to, I continued to analyse some of my outward behaviour. The irritability came about because I knew something was wrong that it wasn’t just about what you could see physically. Everything was dumbed down.
Fast forward again to my late forties and with a diagnosis, I began to see and understand more about my presenting symptoms, that autism would fit my presenting behaviour. I see my symptoms as something to be embraced rather than something I need to challenge, but it didn’t stop others challenging me.
The hardest thing has been my learning disability and generalised anxiety disorder, because growing up they were constant. Nothing I deal with is ever easy, but at least I understand the patterns now. I have learned to cope with OCD.
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, (“ADHD”) would explain my restlessness and my inability to stick at one thing and see it through. Particularly true as a child when I was regularly criticised for starting tasks and not completing them and for my lack of concentration in school.
Seeing what I have gone on to achieve, particularly with my studies and website was carved out in stone long before I knew it ever was. It is the universe writing a wrong on all my experiences, where I wasn’t able to do it for myself, particularly in the earlier years.
On another note, I feel it’s harmful to assume without knowing. It’s important to know the facts and not assume. ‘My Story’ is testament to that.