Embracing autism symptoms

I came to terms with the fact that I was different a long time ago. I didn’t know why I was, because nothing was ever said. I knew I had a bad leg and a bad foot.

Although I was a deep thinker as a child, fast forward to my early 20’s and although I still didn’t know about my mental symptoms, I was getting to grips with a full-time job. I would while away the hours, looking at how I responded to stimuli.

Although things weren’t obvious because my symptoms were mild, I continued to analyse some of my outward behaviour. I was continually irritated because I knew something was wrong, that it wasn’t just about what you could see physically. Everything was dumbed down.

Now fast forward to my late forties and with a diagnosis, I could for the first time understand my presenting symptoms, and autism seemed to fit into that. Whatever my symptoms were, I always saw them as something to be embraced, rather than something I need to challenge, but it didn’t stop others challenging me.

The hardest thing has been my learning disability and generalised anxiety disorder, because growing up they were constantly something I had to deal with. Nothing I deal with is easy, but I understand the patterns now. It is because I have autism that I have OCD, which I have also learned to cope with.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, (“ADHD”) could explain my restlessness and my inability to stick at one thing and see it through. Particularly true as a child when I was regularly criticised for starting tasks and not completing them and for my lack of concentration in school.

When it comes to any form of disability, it is harmful for others to assume without knowing. It is important to know the facts and not assume. ‘My Story’ is testament to that.


30 Nov, 2018

4 thoughts on “Embracing autism symptoms

  1. It doesn’t sound like you grew up in an environment where anything out of the ordinary was ever questioned, especially any of your autism issues.

    I find it amazing that any parent would knowingly ignore their child’s issues, instead of just tackling them head on. I know things were a lot different back in the 60’s and 70’s, but that doesn’t change the facts of what both of us went through when there wasn’t any valid or logical reason to.

    People may wonder why we we’re so angry and emotional at times, but they didn’t have to suffer for as many years as we did, not fully understanding what was going on.

    You have been such a great inspiration to me. I know that I should get busy writing too, since I also have a lot to say.

    1. That’s kind Randy. I’m pleased what I write helps you too. Yes, it’s a parent’s job to protect their children, but the human condition is flawed and parents may not always escape that. But as parents we must always try.

      Now through my own research and understanding my life, I have come to understand what I didn’t know or understand as a child.

      It doesn’t make what was done right, or take away responsibility from those who should have protected me, but it does help me understand and emotionally move on.

      I must have been around 14 to 15 years old, when I remember telling myself that if I was ever lucky enough to have children, I would do things differently and I have.

      It’s so important not to bottle our thoughts or experiences up however we can.

    1. Yes, it’s lovely when our thoughts come together and we concur what the other person thinks.

      Whatever our parents do it is important we change and parent differently. The sins of the parents and that’s absolutely true, but it’s still no excuse.

      It doesn’t help future generations if what we’ve had done to us, is repeated with our children. However hard it is and it is hard, we must try to parent differently.

      Children aren’t asking for model parents, they simply want us to care and show that we do.

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