Emotional help & compensation

It’s a tough one to call, but does claiming for compensation for a birth defect or a negligence claim, make our suffering any easier?

I say that because of something my GP said to me a couple of months ago, when I was trying to find out a little more about my problems with Cerebral Palsy. She assumed that I was looking to claim for compensation, before I’d even had the chance to explain why I was seeing her.

As I didn’t find out I had Cerebral Palsy until the age 46, I was never in a position to think about compensation. I imagine that it would have made my suffering that little bit easier, because it would have taken the onus off my parents. I believe that when any baby is born with a disability, however large or small, mum’s particularly will take the blame as their own.

I know that my mum didn’t know how to deal with me or my issues fully. There was no understanding for me of my condition, but I believe she couldn’t handle the guilt and for her to see me struggle, made it harder.

Compensation would have recognised the hospital as being to blame. It may have even made my relationship better, because my parents would have had more money at the time for us to help me. I won’t know now of course.

This isn’t something my mum and dad would ever discuss with me and to this day my father still doesn’t; although before my mum died, she opened up and told me ‘my birth was a particularly difficult one,’ which opened the floodgates for me to find out about Cerebral Palsy.

Compensation could never mend what I had to go through. What I look for is the difference I can make that helps others too, whilst helping myself to cope with what I have to deal with.

25 Jan, 2011

4 thoughts on “Emotional help & compensation

  1. Compensation may have helped with medical bills and getting you help while you were younger, but I’m not sure it would have changed who you are or how your parents felt. It’s like when people die and others are made to pay for the death. The money won’t bring the person back.

    I agree with your thoughts also. It may have taken some of the pressure off your parents… and made the relationship between you all better. Hind sight is 20/20 as they say. But with this it’s hard to judge how things would have turned out.

    1. I think in my case it may have helped, because when someone else accepts responsibility (for us the hospital); somehow it clears our own conscience of wrong-doing. Compensation will have made them feel better emotionally, even if it wasn’t better in terms of what we had to deal with.

      It doesn’t right everything. You are right about your thoughts that things may have been different between me and my parents though, I am sure they struggled with all the guilt over this with me. Thanks for posting Lisa.

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