I am writing this blog because it will not only help me, but hopefully will help others with what they have to deal with, when they cannot see a way through what seems like a massive blur.
There is no doubt that I have been let down badly, by those who should have protected, supported and helped me, both personally and by those who work in the system, particularly school. I feel angry and frustrated today, knowing that the door is shut and that I may never have clarification on what I’ve had to deal with since I was a small child.
It has left me with a feeling of unease and disappointment. I did everything I could and feel exonerated that my questions although remained unanswered have been answered through knowing it was something and not nothing. For the first time that part of me feels better.
Although I have let go of the guilt, those thoughts and feelings have been replaced by empty feelings and abandonment. I have yet to decide what I need to do to bring acceptance. We will not always have the answers, but we know what we know and need to run with what we know. That we must never give up.