I am writing this blog because it will not only help me, but hopefully will help others with what they have to deal with, when they cannot see a way through what seems like a massive blur.

There is no doubt that I have been let down badly, by those who should have protected, supported and helped me, both personally and by those who work in the system, particularly school. I feel angry and frustrated today, knowing that the door is shut and that I may never have clarification on what I’ve had to deal with since I was a small child.

It has left me with a feeling of unease and disappointment. I did everything I could and feel exonerated that my questions although remained unanswered have been answered through knowing it was something and not nothing. For the first time that part of me feels better.

Although I have let go of the guilt, those thoughts and feelings have been replaced by empty feelings and abandonment. I have yet to decide what I need to do to bring acceptance. We will not always have the answers, but we know what we know and need to run with what we know. That we must never give up.

14 Jun, 2010

4 thoughts on “Emptiness

  1. Try and concentrate on the good things you have in your life and all the friends you have on line. Think of all the good you are doing for people with CP. You have a talent for helping people and for listening. Continue to use your god given talents you should be so grateful for those.

    Above all try not to get stuck. Move forward, you will feel much better. Dwelling on what has happened will not change it. You need to move on as soon as you can.

    1. I know Randy and I will, but in order to move on I have to work through the emotions I feel and then I will be ready to move on. I have strategies in place for me so that I can do that.

      I have such wonderful friends including yourself and am grateful for having you all in my life. I know I am blessed. I know I help not only myself but others too and am very grateful for being able to do what I do.

      Many thanks for your continued support and concern.

  2. You need to go through this process but not alone. I’m here for you and with you, as I’m sure others are. It’s a terrible thing that was done to you and I can’t say I’ve been there, but if I had I would feel the same way. It may take a while for you to move on from this. I hope I can help you in some way as you are helping me. You’re a good person and a great friend. Hugs Lisa

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