Establishing boundaries

Boundaries are a dividing line between what we can and can’t do. They are what parents put in place to protect their children and other children they come into contact with. Boundaries are taught by parents to their children from a very early age.

There are children who are good-natured and probably won’t be affected by having no boundaries, but the more wilful and determined child will usually stop at nothing without any boundaries in place. That child would be a nightmare to manage, let alone live with.

But boundaries aren’t just for children, they serve adults too and are crucial if we are to build and implement healthy relationships. Adults without boundaries may be objectionable, and may also lack communication skills, because they’ve never learned how or what makes good communication. They may also act independently when making decisions without any regard for their partners.

Boundaries are there to help us adjust and to live within our constraints. They help us communicate safely and effectively without us overstepping the mark. What one partner who has grown up with boundaries thinks is appropriate, their spouse or partner without boundaries may find totally inappropriate.

It is the reason why boundaries are so important and why they must always be maintained. All differences must be respected.

26 Jun, 2012

4 thoughts on “Establishing boundaries

  1. Boundaries would have been a good idea when I was growing up – I never really had them and ignored those that I did have.

    Some might say that’s why I can be a royal pain in the ass sometimes as an adult.

    1. I agree with you on all your points.

      It’s not really fair for anyone having to be on the receiving end of someone who has never had boundaries, for the reason you’ve mentioned in your last paragraph and my blog.

    1. Thanks Lisa. I’ve only known kids play out that way, when they don’t get their own way on what they can and cannot do.

      Unfortunately I have seen first hand what happens when boundaries aren’t in place. I think it’s easy for the family unit to become dysfunctional without them.

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