Yesterday’s feature quote, “If you could figure out how to live with family then you’d gone a long way toward finding your peace.” I’m still figuring that one out.
Family should be the people we want to spend time with by choice. They should be the ones we want to go back to long after we’re grown. Family should be a support, but not interfering. Family should also be helpful, caring and interested. Unfortunately, some of us are still left wondering what went wrong.
I still believe underneath the exterior, family are well intentioned. They may often mistake well meaning for interfering. Many of us will spend our time trying to adapt and other times moving the boundaries back in place.
There will be other times too, when we’re back on track, only to find we’ve slipped back off again with something we’ve said; then it’s back to square one again.
These are my tips on family:
- Put space between you and your family, so you’re in control of how much time you spend with them;
- Don’t feel pressured to do what they want;
- Make your own choices;
- Always say what you feel you need to say but say it with tact and discretion and don’t hold back;
- Be prepared to move the boundaries;
- Never leave family assuming; always go out of your way to make sure they know where you stand on things because miscommunication can be detrimental.
If things don’t work out, it’s your choice whether you introduce more space between you, or whether you choose to walk away. If we had such a perfect family, we wouldn’t feel the need to walk away.