Fear of commitment is a well-known phrase we hear being banded about and may even describe you, if that’s something you struggle with and as we unconsciously fail to commit, life passes us by.
Someone who has trouble committing has a fear of losing something to gain something new. When we commit to someone, we leave one life behind to start another and that’s what people may struggle with. The reality for anyone who has difficulty with commitment is making a wrong decision, but no matter what decision we make, there is always another life we could have lived.
The problem doesn’t end there. When we deal with commitment issues, we will have to deal with commitment issues on a bigger scale, because those commitment issues will also go on to impact us in other areas of our life too. The irony is that when we’re unable to commit, we fear what we may need the most, which is the intimacy and security that comes with a loving committed relationship.
The majority of us may want to have a secure and loving relationship, we’re just too afraid to commit to making it happen. The fear we feel comes from something that happens in our formative years, from something we’ve seen, or from an insecurity that has embedded itself in the commitment issues we struggle with. That’s the bad part. The good part is it’s something we can sort out.
So, what should we do?
Always engage yourself in trying to understand and change what it is that’s stopping you from committing to someone or something. I believe that when we begin to work through the issues that have brought us to this place, we will begin to see and recognise why we have commitment issues. If you see that the symptom is the commitment issue and the cause is something you’ve seen that has an effect on the way you deal with your relationship, then you’re half way there.
It may simply stem from our parents and their parents before them. It’s often the disharmony between people that we’re affected by that brings us to this place. On some level, we must deal with the disharmony and do the opposite.