I’m feeling a little blue today. I’m sure I’m being tested on my health, because I now have a problem with my eye. Not sure what’s wrong with it, but I think it could be a sty.
I seem to be going from one problem to another and it’s beginning to get to me. I have also just found out that my appointment to have my cyst removed is scheduled for the 12th August, although it could be sooner. The old thoughts are back again.
I have to laugh, but I feel as though it would be helpful if someone could write a manual for those of us who deal with Cerebral Palsy and for all those ‘loved ones who live with someone who deals with Cerebral Palsy.’ I cannot change the way I do things and yet there are days where I feel I have to defend my corner.
I was constantly being labelled as a child because I was deemed lazy; my attention span was very spasmodic. I shut off very quickly. I was also very slow at things and in school, particularly as far as the concept of learning was concerned. From memory my inability to learn may have been a concern for my teachers, but not as far as my father was concerned. He believed I would catch up.
Growing up, I would start something and lose interest very quickly. It was never intentioned, but very frustrating because there were so many things that I wanted to tackle, but would often have to rest. As frustrating as it was for me, it was more frustrating for everyone else, particularly my family.
It’s easy to forget that I have Cerebral Palsy, because it’s mild, but emotionally I live in my own little emotional world. Would a worse scenario of Cerebral Palsy bring about a more sympathetic response? I believe so. If someone has a broken leg, people are more likely to be sympathetic, than if someone is struggling with addiction.
My Cerebral Palsy isn’t obvious, neither are my struggles. It’s easy to forget I struggle with both, but they’re obvious to me; but others lose interest as a consequence.