Feeling a little blue

I’m feeling a little blue today. I’m sure I’m being tested on my health, because I now have a problem with my eye. Not sure what’s wrong with it, but I think it could be a sty.

I seem to be going from one problem to another and it’s beginning to get to me. I have also just found out that my appointment to have my cyst removed is scheduled for the 12th August, although it could be sooner. The old thoughts are back again.

I have to laugh, but I feel as though it would be helpful if someone could write a manual for those of us who deal with Cerebral Palsy and for all those ‘loved ones who live with someone who deals with Cerebral Palsy.’ I cannot change the way I do things and yet there are days where I feel I have to defend my corner.

I was constantly being labelled as a child because I was deemed lazy; my attention span was very spasmodic. I shut off very quickly. I was also very slow at things and in school, particularly as far as the concept of learning was concerned. From memory my inability to learn may have been a concern for my teachers, but not as far as my father was concerned. He believed I would catch up.

Growing up, I would start something and lose interest very quickly. It was never intentioned, but very frustrating because there were so many things that I wanted to tackle, but would often have to rest. As frustrating as it was for me, it was more frustrating for everyone else, particularly my family.

It’s easy to forget that I have Cerebral Palsy, because it’s mild, but emotionally I live in my own little emotional world. Would a worse scenario of Cerebral Palsy bring about a more sympathetic response? I believe so. If someone has a broken leg, people are more likely to be sympathetic, than if someone is struggling with addiction.

My Cerebral Palsy isn’t obvious, neither are my struggles. It’s easy to forget I struggle with both, but they’re obvious to me; but others lose interest as a consequence.


27 Jul, 2011

6 thoughts on “Feeling a little blue

  1. May be you’re going through a detoxification process due to the new eating habits you’ve developed.

    I know that sometimes when we change our diets like that we detoxify which is a good thing and it’s always worse in the beginning, but will clear up. I’m sure you know all about this though. You’re a very smart cookie, smarter than me anyway!

    My case of FMS/CFS is mild. I believe and people don’t always see me as having difficulties or struggling even when I’m at my worse. I don’t say anything unless they ask me about it or just happen to notice that I look tired.

    I too was very similar to you growing up and I still start things and don’t finish, but its not laziness it’s boredom with me. I honestly think it’s a form of ADD.

    1. Thanks Lisa. I am sure that whatever it is I am dealing with, it will clear up eventually; it’s just annoying that it’s something else for me to deal with.

      I know how you feel on what you deal with, because although we have different things that we deal with, we know how it feels to have to work through them.

      It’s lovely that we have each other for support.

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