Finally proving myself

Having finished the book as my thoughts turn to publication day, I now have a new thinking. I never thought about how I would feel writing the book, or whether it would change me through the other end.

It’s been a long drawn out process, three and a half years to be exact. Writing the book has catapulted me into a different mental space. Becoming a writer has shown others just what I was capable of, even though I was seen as giving up too easily and being lazy.

Completing the book has demonstrated a steely determination in me to start, continue and finish what I start. It shows ‘staying power.’ My CBT therapist, compares my book to academic writing, which I am happy to own.

My memoir isn’t just about proving to myself that I can do it, it’s proved my critics they were too free with their words, too quick to right me off. They were too quick to give up on me, without choosing to understanding.

It details my journey from the very begging. It is self-contained. My writing has ticked off a lot of boxes, it has brought understanding on my life overall to this point. It has proved to me and others my intellect.

It has also demonstrated my free thinking and independence and shows a different confidence in me, something I have had to continually fight for.

10 Nov, 2019

6 thoughts on “Finally proving myself

  1. Riding with you through your journey has been the most pleasurable experience. To watch you blossom into an author is as satisfying for me as it is for you.

    You have proved yourself, indeed.

    1. Awww thanks Tim. ‘You have proved yourself, indeed.’ Yes, I believe I have, but it’s still not sunk in.

      I have loved you taking my journey with me. It may have started as my cerebral palsy journey, but through each of my blogs, you have created an understanding for yourself, on your own life and how to make your own changes for you.

      That makes it your journey too, but differently. I love that.

  2. I don’t believe there was any need to prove yourself to anyone than yourself.

    That said others who might have doubted you, will be under no illusion that you have certainly proved yourself beyond any doubt and the need to suck that up.

    1. When you’re literally left to fend yourself mentally, even if there is no need to prove ourselves, we do find us having to prove ourselves.

      It’s a survival tool, to show others we can thrive under the odds. A human attribute, or failing whichever way you look at it.

      ‘That said others who might have doubted you, will be under no illusion that you have certainly proved yourself, beyond any doubt and the need to suck that up.’ They should, but not sure they will.

      The universe knows they know, so that’s fine by me.

  3. I’m sure that it has been quite an experience for you and definitely one that I have been trying to figure out how to do myself.

    You have been such a tremendous power of example to me and I can’t wait to read your book. We seem to have grown up in very similar environments so I’m sure that a lot of it, will seem very familiar.

    My life has been a constant stream of failures because I always gave up so easily, but I have been trying to work to change things. Thank you so much for being there for me and continuing to be so supportive to me.

    1. You’re welcome. I am genuinely pleased that my blog helps you so much.

      Yes, I mentally switched off until I was in my early thirties, just so I could deal with and get through my experiences. And if I had my time again I would do the same thing.

      I know that having a diagnosis would have helped me understand some of my struggles back then, but not all. For example, knowing I had cerebral palsy would have highlighted my struggles in school, but even with a diagnosis, it wouldn’t have given me as much as I have now.

      But no child should have to go through life feeling the need to prove to themselves so that they don’t become what people label them for. If people throw enough mud, it will stick.

      You and I have come a long way Randy. We understand our experiences, but it’s not enough for us to understand, we must act.

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