Finding our own way

How many of us have spent our lives living a life other people expect us live? This means living with dreams and goals that are not our own, but based on what other people expect or want, for us.

Making comparisons

I believe it’s become human nature for us to compare ourselves to others, but it can make us feel worse and doesn’t help, particularly if we’re already struggling. We all know other people that we don’t know well enough, who have their own lives to deal with; their own circumstances; personalities and struggles, but we tend to assume they’re doing okay because that’s all we see.

I also believe the truth is that unless we know someone, but really know someone, we can never know for sure. When we perceive other people to be better or more successful than we are, we will begin to lose sight of ourselves and of our own success.

In order to get to know who we are, we must learn to like and be comfortable with ourselves. We also need to pay attention to ourselves to know and understand what qualities we possess. We can never know what we are capable of, if we continue to follow other people’s values or their beliefs.

We’re all individual

We’re all individuals with unique personalities. We should learn to embrace and get to know everything that makes us unique, so that we can finally live with and be true to ourselves instead of being true to someone else.


22 Jul, 2011

4 thoughts on “Finding our own way

  1. I used to talk to my mother about what everyone else had.

    My mother would always tell me to quit worrying about what others had or did and think about what I had myself. I guess I was jealous of others.

    I got over it and now concentrate on what I have and what I’ve accomplished. I’m pretty happy except for the schooling part. I’ve been a nurse so long and am ready to move on to a new career. I know what I want to do, but starting may be a problem right now so I just have to wait until it’s the right time.

    I have everything in the world I need so I don’t envy others of what they have. It did make me unhappy when I would obsess about what others had and I didn’t. I think I was trying to make up for the attention I didn’t get from my mother and the praise I didn’t get,(my sister got all the praise and good wishes). I’m okay with it now.

    I’m proud of my sister for all her accomplishments. I have several accomplishments also and my mom is proud of me for them now. I guess it was a childhood thing.

    1. For me it’s a parent thing that they get horribly wrong; either because of a parent’s culture or through what they’ve learned from their parents and the cycle continues.

      Parents should encourage their children to ‘find their own way’ and help them along life’s journey well enough so that their children are happy with themselves as adults.

      Unfortunately for many of us that never happened; which is why some of us will still struggle today.

  2. Very good post here today. I can relate to this very much, through what my parents expected of me growing up and as an adult.

    1. Thanks Randy. I think that what you experienced is very common for many of us. You’re definitely not on your own.

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