Although ‘forewarned is forearmed,’ means knowing about something before it happens so we can be prepared for it, I feel the same way about finding out that I had Cerebral Palsy, albeit a little late. For me it was retrospective.
The moment I found out what I was dealing with, I became more informed. For the first time it meant I could put a name to something I didn’t know I had. It empowered me, it has helped change my attitude and although it hasn’t brought about a resolve, it has brought about a new understanding that I didn’t have before.
For the first time, I had an answer that could potentially open new doors on my understanding of my physical problems and it has. The load felt lighter that I’d finally turned a corner. I became more informed because of the diagnosis, although I knew it would take longer to work through my neurological difficulties.
Having a diagnosis has allowed me to bring about an understanding on something I knew nothing about. Knowing empowers us to change and to look for more change. Looking back, I went from being an angry, frustrated and irritated child, to a more content adult after the diagnosis.
Although a diagnosis doesn’t always bring full closure, because we deal with a physical disability, it does go some way to help explain our life to that point and bring about more answers than we had. My life had been a lie up to that point.
I was living my life behind a mask. Brushed under the carpet my condition was always there, a part of me, but totally out of reach.