Free from blame

There was one area of my life that I continually blamed myself for and that was my failing in school. Each day was a continual battle.

As I dutifully got dressed each morning, unconsciously I knew it was going to be another day of struggles. It wasn’t that I just didn’t get school, I had a mental disability that I didn’t know I had that stopped me from succeeding.

Looking back, I can see that I was continually blaming myself for failing. I do see now it is important we look at our circumstances and read between the lines, so we take the onus of ourselves. When you learn to read between the lines, everything looks and feels different. You begin to learn about people, and that gives you your understanding.

Choosing to re-live my journey, and to look at my past around my disability has catapulted me into a much healthier space. I can see the ‘wood from the trees’ Everything is so much more clear. Perhaps we need to think about why we’re blaming ourselves and ask ourselves if blaming ourselves, is really the right thing to do.

We mustn’t blame ourselves if we’re not to blame, but there does come a time when we must turn the mirror on ourselves and start addressing the issues, we’re blaming ourselves for.


31 Jan, 2020

4 thoughts on “Free from blame

  1. I have wasted my life blaming myself for the mistakes my parents made, when it wasn’t my responsibility to begin with.

    They spent most of their time burying us under a mountain of guilt, shame and remorse which seemed impossible for me to get out from under, but I finally feel like I may be getting there.

    I have spent too much time than I care to remember punishing myself, when there was so much that really wasn’t my fault. I hope I can save myself and help others, if they need the help.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes, you can’t blame yourself for what your parents have done, but you can change what you do now with your life, if you feel it’s necessary.

      It took me too many years to understand the concept myself, but once I’d worked it all through things did become easier. It is important we separate their issues from ours and own what belongs to us and deal with those.

      With time, effort and experience it does get easier.

  2. Guilt from blaming oneself is a tough burden and I am glad that you longer feel guilty about your school education.

    It was never your guilt to own in the first place, but those whose guilt it was found it easier for them to let you live your life with the guilt, instead of them.

    It is unforgiveable to put a child through that.

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