Generations of behaviour

Family behaviour has a history of repeating itself on future generations. Unfortunately, family behaviour patterns passed through the generations dictate how we will communicate with other family members and how we will get to live our lives.

Those behaviour patterns will determine our opinions, our beliefs and our decisions. They will also influence our behaviour. As time goes by, we will fail to change because unconsciously we will continue to emulate the same behaviour patterns. All these patterns will eventually get passed on through new relationships.

The truth is that if our parents don’t deal with conflict in their lives, we won’t avoid it either. If our parents are pacifists, we will be pacifists. As children we learn, we grow and evolve around the parameters set out by our parents. That’s okay if family are positive role models, but if any flaws are passed down through the generations, those flaws will have an influence on everyone, including future generations.

Previous generations whether they know it or not, will always have an influence on future generations, good or bad. For example, If a child goes on to be ignored because his parents can’t cope with the loss of one of their children, that scenario will not only play out on their surviving child, but on future generations as well.

It’s our job to teach children how to develop valuable learning skills, to see them through their own lives positively, regardless of what’s passed down.


30 Mar, 2013

4 thoughts on “Generations of behaviour

  1. I totally agree with you. I’ve seen it happen so many times.

    The parents act a certain way and the child grows up and acts the same way. I’ve also seen where the child is treated a certain way and when they grow up they treat their children the way they were treated. That’s the pattern with abuse.

    It’s one of the things we learned in our fostering parent classes. If the abuse is to stop it has to be changed. My first husband grew up in an abusive family and unfortunately witnessed his father abusing his mother, so he was a little abusive himself and at times treated me the way his father treated his mom.

    To stop the pattern the person has to be determined to stop and change their behavior or the behavior will continue to the next generation and so on down the line.

    1. Thanks Lisa. I agree with your thoughts. Our behaviour whatever that behaviour is, will always continue to the next generation. As the saying goes, ‘the buck stops with us’ and has to.

  2. I agree with what you have said here. Thankfully my brother and I have taken after our dear beloved late mother.

    Her Family (our grandparents) were kind and considerate. They were a model of how to treat people.

    My father’s side were very unhappy people and it showed in how my grandfather treated people. He was mean.

    1. This is so sad Randy, although I believe your grandparents on your father’s side will have taught both you and your brother a very great lesson, how to be better people.

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