Getting to grips with anxiety

My mind isn’t settled. It comes on the back of having to continually deal with anxiety through my brain impairment. There seems to be no reprise.

It is because my emotions are impaired that I have a permanent traffic jam in my head. And although I appreciate it’s the symptoms I must treat, that is difficult because I already have a predisposition to deal with before I start the process and that impairs my thinking further.

As a child I never equated my emotional struggles and what I was presenting was anxiety. I also didn’t understand or equate that I would never be free of anxiety because of my brain damage, that I would have to find a way of dealing with it because I don’t fit into other people’s normal.

Although I am okay with that and have come to accept that, those close to me find it difficult to fit into my normal. I also feel aggrieved that things could have been made easier for me around bad thoughts and anxiety.

Knowing I will always be grappling with both makes it harder, because I’ve never been equipped and don’t have the tools now to move anxiety away. Through Cognitive Behavioural Therapy I am finding ways through that fit my particular impairments.

5 Jun, 2018

4 thoughts on “Getting to grips with anxiety

  1. It must be very hard to constantly deal with anxiety and even more so for you, as your anxiety originates from a brain injury. It must have been difficult for you before you knew the source of your bad thoughts.

    With the right help, I am sure some of the symptoms of anxiety can be managed and I am glad you are getting help through CBT.

    1. Thanks. Yes, it’s taken many years to bring understanding to my anxiety. I can’t believe what I was put through… I thought I was going mad.

      My anxiety is a continual battle. When I struggle, my inner-critic usually takes centre stage. Cognitive therapy is helping, but because of my emotional impairments, there are things like visualisation and imagery that I can’t do.

  2. Anxiety is a storm that hits really hard. So hard that I wonder where the rest of me went when the storm is over.

    Of course, it doesn’t help that I’m borderline pissed off in the first place.

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes, our reasons for anxiety will differ depending on our state of mind and why we’re anxious in the first place.

      Although my anxiety is based on my brain impairment, anxiety can hit all of us and to use your analogy can leave a disaster in its wake.

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