Giving your best

It’s very frustrating when you know you always give of your best, but it’s never seen as your best by anyone else. Perhaps it’s got to something to do with others not meeting their own exacting standards so they’re so hard to please.

Or perhaps it’s because they tend to set their own standards, which they expect others to meet, or perhaps some of us will never accept family’s expectations or other people’s expectations. It’s just the way they are.

I believe that doing our best doesn’t always mean that we must outdo someone else, or that what we do has to be perfect so that we are seen as the best, it just means that whatever we do, we do it to the best of our ability and know that hand on heart, we have achieved our best.

That should be good enough for others too. It’s not something we should concern ourselves with, because if we’re doing our best, it shouldn’t matter what other people think.

We give of our best when:

  • We treat others in a kind and conciliatory manner;
  • We talk with respect;
  • We don’t stand in judgment;
  • We give help where help is needed;
  • We allow others to take control of their own circumstances and act as a guide if it’s needed;
  • We take time to listen;
  • We say nice things so that others will feel good about themselves;
  • We think about what we say and how we say it;
  • We are loyal, honest and show compassion;
  • We have a kind heart.

Whatever people’s reasons are for choosing to behave in a way that is less than appropriate when we are constantly trying to do our best for them, it is something they must live with.


20 Mar, 2012

4 thoughts on “Giving your best

  1. I always try to do the best I can do, but when it comes to family it seems like I never did ‘measure up’ to my parents expectations. Now that I’m married, I still don’t ‘measure up.’ Only now it’s my wife that constantly reminds me. she even goes back as far as high school.

    I think we CP sufferers have to be better than ‘normal’ people, just to be considered as equals, in our jobs and life in general.

    I even compare myself to others, especially when I try to do handyman stuff in my home. If things don’t go as expected I’m thinking, “it wouldn’t take a normal person this long.” Even at work I have those thoughts.

    1. It’s a possibility Bill that your parents would never have been any different, even if you didn’t have CP. Sometimes we just never match up to our parents’ expectations, however hard we try.

      Going to your other points. I think even normal people have difficulty with DIY. It’s not just something people with CP struggle with. You’re either good at putting things together or you’re not. Please don’t think it’s because you have CP that you’re not any good at DIY, or too slow at it.

      I do agree with you that living with any kind of disability like CP can make it more difficult for others to see us as equals, over those who don’t have these kind of problems; but that’s a problem that has never changed. Gay and lesbian people are also still struggling to be recognised. The world needs to wake up to disability and learn to accept that we’re the same on the inside; we just have different needs on the outside.

      As a human race, we tend to draw in comparisons. It wouldn’t matter to me how long you took to complete a task. The important part is that you managed it. Perhaps you being constantly reminded all the time isn’t helping your morale. It would be good if you could think more positive thoughts instead of being reminded about your negative experiences all the time.

      You give of your best Bill, be happy with that. Try not to be too concerned what other people think. It’s what you think that matters.

  2. Growing up I felt inferior to others. I rebelled against my parents and thought others were putting me down as not being good enough. I did my best and kept everything inside. I didn’t challenge others. I was intimidated mostly by others, so I didn’t speak out.

    Now I’m a little different. I still don’t speak my mind about certain things; only if I get mad enough.

    1. Although it will have been hard for you to give of your best even though you weren’t feeling the best, I am sure you will look back now and know you gave of your best.

      As is often the case, it’s others not acknowledging what we do, even though we know we’ve done more than our best for them.

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