Good cop or bad cop parenting, which category do you fall into?
Either way both these roles can be damaging. This kind of parenting not only splits the parents, but splits the children as well because the good cop parent will always been the good parent by their children and the bad parent, will always be the bad parent, even if he or she tries to be the good parent.
I grew up with this style of parenting. It’s become easier for families today to parent this way. It becomes impossible for the bad parent to parent, let alone be the good parent, if the other parent insists on continuing to parent in this way. Parents shouldn’t be good or bad cops and they shouldn’t be categorised.
Both parents should take the same approach when it comes to raising their children. Unfortunately, with this parenting, children will fail to meet their responsibilities because of the lack of consistency in their parents’ approach to how they parent. When one parent makes a suggestion, the other parent must support the suggestion, whether they both agree or not.
If there is a difference of opinion that can be discussed later. Children need to know and see that both parents support each other. Any suggestions made need to be followed through by both parents. In the longer term, I believe the bad parent will eventually become the good parent.
Children eventually tend to see and form their own opinions and often see why the bad parent was never really the bad parent after all. It’s a shame that one parent over another always gets a bad press.
But children must and only have to look at the way they turn out as adults to understand why the ‘bad cop parent’ was never bad at all.