This is the first time in a long time that I have had so many negative feelings, brought on by so much negativity going on around me. What I was going to write about today I will write about tomorrow.
My job today is to turn my negative feelings around, so that I can concentrate on the positive aspects to my day. The cerebral palsy issue doesn’t seem to be bothering me today. I’m not sure why, but maybe I’m becoming more positive, by not giving myself time to dwell on what I would normally see as negative.
I will also try to bring an acceptance on how I came to have cerebral palsy. I will ring up the hospital where I was born, to see if my medical notes are still available. After 47 years, however, I am not pinning my hopes on finding anything.
I have partly reconciled myself on what I already know, having discussed this with my neurologist, who agreed that it probably happened during the birth, all the facts point that way. I cannot change the course of events on that day knowing it could have been avoided. I have to manage and accept that it happened.
I know that to dwell on the negative will hurt me more, make me more angry, or ill. But it’s time for me to move on, although I appreciate that will take some time.