There are just some people in our lives that make it so hard for us to like them? We’ve probably all come across people where it doesn’t matter what we say, something that seems totally innate, will turn into a massive argument with us feeling more frustrated that we’re having to fight our corner and still don’t agree on things.
When a discussion turns, it’s usually got something to do with the other person and what they’re dealing with. How easy it is for us to go on the defensive, but that will never help when there are issues lurking below the emotional surface. Underlying pain on what we deal with, will always fuel outward behaviour towards others, even if those significant others are not directly the cause of our pain.
As a society, we look for validation on our experiences, even though we know the person we’re talking to isn’t actually to blame. When we don’t get validation from the person we’re talking to that’s when we will subconsciously begin to take our frustrations out on them. Our decision to be angry isn’t a conscious one, we’re talking to the person who is responsible for how we feel.
It is futile trying to change someone if they’re not ready or don’t want to change, particularly if they’re only looking for validation, so that they can be justified or vindicated on things that have happened weeks or even years ago.
Unfortunately, this behaviour is more prevalent amongst family than it is friends, because our history with friends is usually one of appreciation, something we don’t always have with family.