There are just some people in our lives that make it so hard for us to like them?
We’ve probably all come across people where something we say that seems totally innate, will turn into a massive argument with us feeling more frustrated that we’re having to fight our corner and still we can’t agree on things.
When a discussion turns, it’s usually got something to do with what the other person’s dealing with. It is easy for us to go on the defensive, but that never helps when others have issues lurking below the emotional surface.
Underlying pain will always fuel outward behaviour towards others, even if those significant others are not directly the cause of our pain.
As a society, we look for validation on our experiences, even though we know the person we’re talking to isn’t actually to blame. Without validation from the person we’re talking to, we will unconsciously begin to take our frustrations out on them.
Our decision to be angry isn’t always a conscious one, but tends to work that way when we’re talking to the person who is responsible for how we feel.
It is futile trying to change someone if they’re not ready or don’t want to change, particularly if they’re only looking for validation, so that they can be justified or vindicated on things that have happened weeks or even years ago.
Unfortunately, this behaviour is more prevalent amongst family than it is friends, because our history with friends is usually one of appreciation, something we don’t always have with family.