I used to hold back on expressing myself as a child, because it was obvious no one was listening. I also wasn’t articulate at saying what I wanted to say and saying what I wanted to say, usually got me into trouble.
Although I would have been happy to share my feelings, we’d rather say nothing than say something. We keep the lid on our emotions and bottle up what we really feel. We will always harbour resentment if we don’t say what we really need to say. In the longer term that doesn’t work, it just leads to more resentment.
Some people aren’t prepared for dialogue, others may not be so sure how to say what they really want to say. I have family who tend to work like that. In the short term it’s not a problem, but it can become a very big problem in the longer term when we continue to hold back.
What holds us back?
Our past, a bad experience we’re still unconsciously holding on to. Feeling inadequate from having had very little praise in our lives, or never being praised; having to prove ourselves to the one person who makes us feel inadequate. Our inability to cope with life generally and being stuck in the same negative emotional patterns.
As we fail to interact as well as we should and generally talk about how we feel about things, we do however, on some level manage to get on with our lives.