Being hostile towards others because we’re finding life tough isn’t right, particularly if it means us alienating the people we care about the most.

I have seen what happens, when a person responds to a given situation in a less than friendly manner when they become hostile, argumentative and aggressive. Their reasoning seems legitimate, but communication in that way is never legitimate.

Learned patterns are difficult to change. People who are hostile, will continue to refuse to see themselves as wrong. They don’t believe they are, so the pattern continues. Any reaction, which is aggressive or exaggerated in this way, is likely to be a sign that they’re dealing with stress.

When anyone is stressed, they’re less likely to be in control of their thoughts or feelings, therefore they will go with what’s being presented. The key to any situation when someone presents us with hostility, is not to take anything they say personally.

Usually hostility comes in on the back of something else. It’s how they feel about themselves, not how they feel about us. Any situation can trigger a reaction, but when we become reactive we show hostility back.

If someone is hostile towards you because it’s something you’ve done, it’s probably best to accept what they say. If you’re met with hostility because it’s something they’re dealing with, try to look for common ground you can both agree on.

Listen to what they say, keep an open mind but try not to be defensive about their comments. Hostility comes from unresolved issues. Resolve those issues and you’re less likely to be hostile.

12 Dec, 2011

6 thoughts on “Hostility

    1. You’re absolutely right Randy in what you say. It does matter how we speak to others… it’s usually when we’ve got it wrong and people have distanced themselves that we learn.

  1. I used to be a very hostile person, until it got to the point that I really didn’t like how I was behaving.

    Now I think I’m just way too nice at times so I’m at the opposite end of the spectrum. It would be nice to be somewhere in the middle!

  2. I agree with you.

    I also think people don’t know how to relieve stress and it stays bottled up inside and has to come out somehow. I’m like that when I don’t smoke. I don’t know how to relax.

    I don’t get over it until I start smoking again because smoking is the only way I know how to relax and relieve stress.

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