As hard as life can be, being hostile because we’re finding things tough isn’t right. For some, that means alienating the people we care about the most.

I have seen it happen when a person responds to any given situation in a less than friendly manner, particularly when they become hostile, argumentative and aggressive. Their reasoning seems legitimate, but to us it’s not.

Unfortunately, the problem with being hostile is that the pattern will always continue, until we break it. Learned patterns are difficult to change once they have begun. They will continue to refuse to see that they’re in the wrong. They don’t believe they are, so the pattern will continue.

Any reaction, which is aggressive or exaggerated in this way, is likely to be a sign that we’re dealing with stress. When we’re stressed we’re less likely to be in control of our thoughts or feelings, therefore we go with what’s being presented. I think the key to any situation when someone presents hostility is not to take anything they say personally.

Usually hostility comes in on the back of something else. It’s how they feel about themselves, not how they feel about us. Any situation can trigger a reaction, but when we become reactive we show hostility back. I choose to stand back from any given situation, so that I can look at what I deal with without taking my problems out on anyone else.

Of course, if someone is hostile towards you because it’s something you’ve done, it’s probably best to accept that you’re wrong. If you’re met with hostility because it’s something they’re dealing with, try to look for common ground you can both agree on that will help. Listen to what they say, keep an open mind but try not to be defensive about their comments.

Finally, I believe that hostility comes from unresolved issues. Resolve those issues and you’re less likely to be hostile.

12 Dec, 2011

6 thoughts on “Hostility

    1. You’re absolutely right Randy in what you say. It does matter how we speak to others… it’s usually when we’ve got it wrong and people have distanced themselves that we learn.

  1. I used to be a very hostile person, until it got to the point that I really didn’t like how I was behaving.

    Now I think I’m just way too nice at times so I’m at the opposite end of the spectrum. It would be nice to be somewhere in the middle!

  2. I agree with you.

    I also think people don’t know how to relieve stress and it stays bottled up inside and has to come out somehow. I’m like that when I don’t smoke. I don’t know how to relax.

    I don’t get over it until I start smoking again because smoking is the only way I know how to relax and relieve stress.

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