How I feel

I hate how I feel sometimes, I also hate what I have to deal with. My cerebral palsy is feeling a whole lot worse since we hit the cold spell and I’m feeling more despondent. As a consequence dealing with other things has been so much harder. I hate where I am sometimes. It can feel lonely, but I’ll bounce back to fight another day.

22 Dec, 2011

22 thoughts on “How I feel

  1. Sorry you’re feeling bad. I know this cold weather makes me feel bad a lot.

    I’m with you and I’m here for you. Take care of you.

  2. I just wanted to make sure you know that you’re not alone!

    I know what that feeling is like and it can be quite overwhelming. You’ve helped me tremendously and I’m trying to return the favor.

  3. I’m sorry you’ve been finding it tough. I hope you are feeling better. I know it must always be tough day to day though with CP. You are so strong.

    1. Thank you. I am probably no different to anyone else. I am sure we all have our on and off days with what we deal with.

      I do my best and emotionally try to make myself stronger. I believe that to be the key.

  4. You really are such a selfless supportive woman aren’t you? You have such true strength.

    So many people let things break them so easily while you stand tall and push through and understand what goes on around you in your life.

    I admire you.

  5. You’re NEVER alone my dear! That’s what you’ve been telling me the whole time! However, I know where you’re coming from.

    I’m 33 and some days feel like I’m 90. Then it’s easy to look back and compare myself and my pain and limitations to my 85 year grandfather who still works full time!

    But I have to look and realize he wasn’t born with my limitations and if I could I’d be doing exactly as him. He was also a young boy in the Great Depression and all he knows is work. It’s what is keeping him alive now.

    But if I were able to, I’d be working along side him finishing the work so he can rest. I know how that guilt feels, but there’s nothing we can do about our situations but make the best of it.

    1. Thanks Bonnie! This is why the site works because it constantly keeps me grounded and reminds me what I already know LOL!

      I don’t know whether it’s the same for you Bonnie, but it’s always easy to lose sight of the bigger picture when we’re having a bad day. None of us are free from negative thoughts, particularly because of our earlier conditioning.

      I believe it’s so important for us to remember to focus, because that acts as a gentle reminder on how far we’ve come.

  6. I’d love to help you feel better about yourself! I truly wish you could see yourself the way the rest of us see you!

    No one else created a website where we as disabled people, can come on here and relate; and as a result heal each other, except you!! You should really pat yourself on the back.

    I truly and honestly thank God for YOU bringing everyone of us together!!

    1. Awww thanks Bonnie!!! I can’t believe it’s actually 5 years ago that I wrote this blog.

      Having lived my life under a cloud as far as my Cerebral Palsy is concerned, it’s not surprising two years on from having started The CP Diary, I still felt a little lost. We support one another.

  7. Yes maam we do! And we’ll always be here for one another. Every one has good and bad days, whether they have disabilities or not. Sometimes it’s easy to look at someone who has no limitations and think their lives are so much better, but that isn’t always true.

    We can’t get away from negative thinking or negative words unfortunately, but we make our lives the best we can!!

    In those 5 years look at how many people you’ve brought together and have been able to meet on here! That’s a ginormous accomplishment that most people (including me) would only dream of doing.

    1. Awww you’re so sweet Bonnie and polite. Thank you. I couldn’t agree more, but never see my accomplishments in that way and it’s because you’re pointing it out to me.

      I am humbled by what I have achieved, but choose to live without the ego. I’m not here to trump anyone. I’m just me.

  8. And you’re a wonderful you! And there isn’t anyone else on this earth that can compare to you!

    I thank God for all you’ve done for so many people on here. It’s really a breath of fresh air to have someone bring ourselves together and point out what we deal with daily and will for the rest of our lives that only someone with CP can explain and relate to.

    1. Finding out that I had CP at 46, was just one piece of my spiritual journey. The CP Diary is a culmination of that. I’m so pleased that what I do helps you and others too. Thanks Bonnie.

  9. Anytime! I love our chats on here and on messenger. There are times I really believe this is all the therapy I need.

    I don’t know if you feel the same, but for me I do. You brought us together, to uplift each other on this site and show every one of us that we aren’t alone in this journey.

    1. Thanks Bonnie. Yes this is all I need and couldn’t agree more. My site and all our conversations bring us together.

      I love your contributions Bonnie. Your responses show none of us are alone.

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