How I got to this place

Emotional or mental trauma is based on us having lived a traumatic life. Not knowing I was living with cerebral palsy or autism, and having to live each day with the consequences, were both traumatic experiences.

Being able to write, means for the first time I have the ability to finally come to terms with my traumatic life. Now when I think about my experiences around cerebral palsy and autism, they don’t bother me.

What I am still struggling with, is how I got to this place. Relationships are based on trust and as a child you trust. I am not cross with myself for not understanding because I could never have changed anything, but I am irritated by how I got to this place.

It is only when you’re doing something that brings back a memory, and you realise you’re not over how you got to where you are. The knocks still keep coming because I live with and deal with a disability each day. With any disability, and I am more mentally and emotionally disabled, there is little to no patience.

Through writing today’s blog, I have reconciled that how I got to this place isn’t something I don’t need to reconcile, it is for those responsible to reconcile.

My book Cerebral Palsy ‘A Story’ is available to buy in Waterstones, Salts Mill, The Grove Ilkley, Kenilworth Books, Amazon Prime UK and Amazon US

29 Jul, 2020

2 thoughts on “How I got to this place

  1. One of the fundamental pillars of any relationship is trust. This was nothing to do with you, you were the child and are admonished of any responsibility.

    I would think the writing process has been both healing and fracturing at the same time and it is certainly not for you to reconcile. What you can do is accept it, because it cannot be changed; but know the responsibility was never yours.

    1. Thanks. Yes, you’re right on all fronts. Out of everything I have had to come to terms with, this is the one area that I have struggled with. Before I wrote the blog it was fracturing as you say, healing now that I have written about it.

      Where responsibility is not taken, it is difficult to reconcile fully, but my spiritual beliefs know there is truth in your words. Spirit also knows where the responsibility lies. No one is ever free of their wrongdoings.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Order my new book

Ilana x