Emotional or mental trauma is based on us having lived a traumatic life. Not knowing I was living with cerebral palsy or autism, and having to live each day with the consequences, were both traumatic experiences.
Being able to write, means for the first time I have the ability to finally come to terms with my traumatic life. Now when I think about my experiences around cerebral palsy and autism, they don’t bother me.
What I am still struggling with, is how I got to this place. Relationships are based on trust and as a child you trust. I am not cross with myself for not understanding because I could never have changed anything, but I am irritated by how I got to this place.
It is only when you’re doing something that brings back a memory, and you realise you’re not over how you got to where you are. The knocks still keep coming because I live with and deal with a disability each day. With any disability, and I am more mentally and emotionally disabled, there is little to no patience.
Through writing today’s blog, I have reconciled that how I got to this place isn’t something I don’t need to reconcile, it is for those responsible to reconcile.