How things were

This is merely another observation on another experience. I believe everyone should know what they’re dealing with as a small child, particularly around a disability.

I’m not sure what I was more annoyed with, not knowing I had Cerebral Palsy, or asking me to do things that it was clear I couldn’t do. The signs were obvious. I couldn’t walk properly let alone wear shoes that didn’t support my walking. I was given flip-flops to wear on beach holidays, only to walk out of them because I constantly struggled to pick my foot up.

Perhaps it was the ignorance of not wanting to know what I was dealing with, but still behaving as if I was a perfectly normal child, without taking anything I was actually dealing with into consideration. Walking behind me and telling me to stop dragging my leg, to pick my foot up and walk heel toe became my biggest bugbear.

When we don’t want to know and deal with something, we will always continue to part deal with something in ignorance, as that something constantly gets brushed under the carpet because we’re not dealing with it.

It’s really not surprising that after all these years, I’m still writing about it and asking myself why.


28 May, 2013

6 thoughts on “How things were

  1. Your parents were very wrong in not dealing with the problems you had, but it could have been just plain ignorance or not wanting to deal with it.

    My son has so many problems and I correct him so much. Sometimes I wonder if I’m being wrong in doing this because he mentally doesn’t grasp things and I correct him like he understands. He can’t help they way he is. Am I wrong for doing this? I don’t really know.

    Part of me thinks I’m not, I’m just helping him learn how to behave and act in society but if he doesn’t understand am I really helping him? Maybe I should just accept how he is but he has to learn somehow.

    Will he resent me later in life for correcting him so much? I don’t know the future. We don’t know how the future will be and we don’t know how our children will react when they get older if the things we do for them will help them or hurt them.

    1. Thanks Lisa. Generally I believe I would say that if a child misbehaves because he knows he can misbehave then yes he needs to be picked up on his behaviour; but if a child misbehaves because he has emotional and physical problems and is frustrated and angry and doesn’t know the difference, then correcting him won’t help.

      My case is different because I was completely aware of my problems; but those problems were ignored and we’re never addressed by either parent. On the whole children cannot be annoyed by the things we try to do for them, but they can be annoyed by their parents ignoring their problems whilst simultaneously highlighting things that their children are clearly incapable of changing. I am living proof of that. If children are annoyed they will be annoyed through their own frustrations of where they are, not because we have tried to help them. That is my belief.

      As a parent we have to give of our best and giving of our best means helping us sort our children’s issues out, not completely ignore them or their issues.

      In your case Lisa, you must work out whether you believe your son has learning difficulties which impacts his behaviour or whether you think he’s playing up because he’s got his behaviour down to a fine art and he knows he can.

      With various help in place I know you will work all of this out.

  2. You poor thing to be subject to that kind of treatment was very bad. At least with me, my parents were quite aware of what I could and couldn’t do, but still at times they did push me but never to the level you had to deal with. That was cruel.

    My CP was evident at a early age (not quite 3) when I was trying to learn to walk. My mother knew something was wrong. In my own case my parents were forced to deal with it. They had no other choice; where as you were treated like you were normal and you were not.

    Must have been so difficult if not impossible to live up to what your parents wanted. I truly feel and am grateful you survived that and grew into the strong lady you are today.

  3. I am totally perplexed as to why your parents did not aggressively address the symptoms from the beginning. I just can’t fathom that scenario.

    I think it is therapeutic for you to continue to write about it. You should bless the world by writing a couple of books about your story. It may help bring closure for you and perhaps help others in similar situations.

    You have something you need to say.

    1. For now I am happy writing about my experiences. They do help bring closure and an understanding I didn’t have before.

      My father particularly couldn’t cope with my problems. He didn’t want to know what I was dealing with. Some people cope with this kind of scenario, my father found it enormously difficult. It doesn’t make it right, it just makes it what it is.

      I know that without my life having taken the course it did, I probably wouldn’t be writing and running my site now, so I am grateful in that respect. If you know of any authors out there who would be happy to publish my blogs, I would be happy to consider!

      Thanks Tim.

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