Illness & anger

It’s easy to become angry around negative experiences, but it’s also important we deal with those experiences so that anger isn’t able to control or consume us. Talking about how we feel can make a difference between acceptance and non-acceptance of our issues and illness.

When it comes to people with a terminal illness, it’s easy to see why those people might feel angry, but perhaps their anger isn’t just about their terminal illness? Anger can be an underlying trait that makes up who we are, because we have issues that are buried deep in our past.

The thought of being terminally ill can bring about a negative and angry response, but it can also bring about positive feelings, particularly in the early stages of their illness. When my mum was diagnosed with lung cancer there was a slight determination for her to remain upbeat. She had a sense of commitment to fight and remain positive.

Although it’s the patient that initially has to deal with his or her illness, their family also need to be able to cope and work through it. When a loved one is angry all the time, it makes it hard for their family to cope. Nobody wants to be around angry people. Unfortunately, anger stops a person from finding a level of calm and acceptance.

Achieving that can make a difference to both our emotional and physical recovery. When it comes to any terminal illness, it’s a lot more difficult to bring our thoughts together positively, but by standing back, we can begin to assess our illness more fully and that allows us to take more positive steps, moving forward.

If you have someone you can confide in, or you feel comfortable talking to, that will always help.


3 Mar, 2012

4 thoughts on “Illness & anger

  1. My mother never talked about being terminally ill.

    In fact she wanted to shield her kids from the fact she was dying. She told my father she did not want us to know, but of course he told us. I never saw her angry but who knows what was going on inside her head.

    She did not share her feelings. I think she was very scared. But she was determined to live for as long as she could.

    1. My mother never discussed her illness either, but she once said that she was never scared to die, just how she would die. Her spiritual beliefs were very strong. She was very calm and had no anger.

      I think you’re right Randy. Our parents were of the generation where they would shield us from a terminal illness, but in the longer term I’m really not sure how beneficial it was. We still have to get to this stage without the help or reassurance.

      I believe it’s important to be able to talk about these things. It stops us from being angry or scared about dealing with a terminal illness and then possibly death.

  2. Neither of my parents were angry when they found out they had cancer, especially dad. He just gave into it and let the cancer have it’s way. Mom on the other hand is a fighter and the strongest person I’ve ever known.

    I admire her for her strength. She has had to deal with so much. I was angry both times with my father’s illness and with moms, but I got over it.

    1. I’m pleased your parents weren’t angry Lisa. It will have made things easier for your family.

      I know the transition between being well and having a terminal illness can affect us in more ways than we think it will. The shock of being told a parent is terminally ill can bring about anger.

      I am pleased you’re now over your feelings of being angry.

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