We’re not always aware and it’s not always obvious to us that the people we have in our lives may be intimidating us. I have written a blog on control, but because I see control and intimidation as being linked, I thought it necessary to write about this topic too. There are different ways to live with being controlled.
I have been controlled in my life, but I don’t remember being intimidated. If someone is being intimidating, we allow that person to interfere with our emotional thoughts about how we feel, think and behave; instead of dealing with that person in a manner that is appropriate and right for us.
Being controlled usually means we have no say in what we do with our lives. When we are intimidated we are made to feel belittled, self-conscious and inadequate. Although they are two different issues, they still need to be understood and recognised as two different problems.
For those who suffer with being intimidated on a regular basis, it can be a nightmare; being intimated means we feel negative about ourselves, about our life and about other people.
Intimidation comes in my forms:
- When someone uses intimidation, they will often use force to get what they want;
- They may threaten by using strength to get what they want;
- They may behave in a way that stops others speaking out, for fear of reprisal;
- They may threaten or use control and power to get others to do what they say;
- They use money to control relationships.
We may allow others to intimidate us. Being intimidated usually means we’re fearful of speaking out, so that we defend our right to exist in a manner that we choose, not how others believe or think we should exist.
It’s important to determine how our irrational thinking has allowed others to be intimidating towards us. The first thing we need to do is think of new ways so that we respond differently to those who insist on continuing to intimidate us. We need to continue to show that we will not be intimidated.
We need to develop new ways of dealing with people who respond negatively to us when we become more assertive. Having been controlled I know how that goes.
There comes a time though, when we must start to take control back and stop the intimidation.