As a child, I was never consciously aware, or even understood why when someone said something to me it was like a time-bomb going off.
I was irritable at everyone. I can’t remember what exactly irritated me, but being blamed for things that I know clearly weren’t my fault, made me irritated. Looking back now I can see the pattern of events that contributed to my behaviour. I wasn’t the best.
Now looking back although I was clearly responsible for my behaviour, the ultimate responsibility lay firmly at the door of my parents, who failed to see that I was struggling emotionally and physically. I was sinking.
This is exactly how we behave when we have or live with anxiety or stress, what we have to deal with and what we may have to continually deal with. It’s our way of saying all is not well. When we cope with our lives, we are likely to be irritable. Unless it’s pointed out to us though, I’m not sure how much we recognise these traits in ourselves.
Of course, I was constantly being told off for my behaviour, that no one took the time to understand why. I know in my case my thoughts saved me. Although I found it hard to change, there wasn’t a day go by where I wasn’t in deep thought.
The environment I grew up in didn’t lend itself to me changing my behaviour as a child, but through my spiritual beliefs and finally becoming independent, I slowly began to change the way I saw my life and that made it easier for me to change.
I believe anyone can change their outlook, even if they do emulate this kind of behaviour. We just have to want to find a way.